The rain falls down around me
Like a lullaby to my aching soul
My heartbeats falters
You’re gone…
You stole my heart
I stole yours
Dawn broke upon us
You shoved
I shoved back
Twilight shattered us
The darkness closes in on me
Like a loveless rhapsody numbing me
It's sweet, sad tune envelopes me
Mourning our tragic love
It shouldn’t hurt to love someone
Like we did
Author notes
So this is what I thought of. Hope you like it.
DeathDolly
"Duel"
Paired with: Wolf Mistress
A contest entry
- A Duel of Poets (1) Invite only! by Beating.
450 points, ended April 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
-
Wow, this is great,
the emotion in this piece can be felt bythe reader. It seems to swell apon you as you read further and the last line it blows up in your face. Great job on this.
well done,
-Dusty-
-
Hello my dear sister!
This piece is, as everything you write, so full of raw emotions and honesty. You always blow me away when it comes to that. And you're right - it shouldn't hurt to love someone.
You did very well with this piece, and I love how you used the prompt. This is going to be too hard to judge! -
Hi Mate
I just saw today we were paired up into this contest....I wished you had give me a call....
But hey..it's okay..I found you today
and your beautiful lovepoem....
I think my Mate is a good poet...
You're right...it shouldn't hurt to love some one...but sometimes it does....and that's a terrible aching pain...
I guess we all have bin there once ore more times...
Good luck Mate
XXJeannette
Adding your comment:
