She spun,
admiring her image
in the glass-clear pool
above her.
Silver looked good on her
like a new layer of scales
to wrap her tightly
in difference.
Almost
perfect.
She sank
trying to unearth the day
when Y marked the spot
in place of X
where once
up from under rock
she first wore his genes
like bruised skin.
Her inferiority
had created him
from this
single
cell.
In
this
silence
She screamed,
shattering the surface
of the illusion he created of her,
and stretching a new arm,
long and human,
she touched the edge
of future.
Author notes
Okay, I feel that this one is a bit abstract so...It is about the evolution of the female and I tried to refer to things I have heard related to the theory of evolution. I hope it make sense now?
A contest entry
- ~Update~ Give me whatever you got! by lizwicker.
950 points, ended April 8, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
your poem in this silence
I agree it was to abstract for me. I thought you were referring to the evoltion of an egg... like when you first find out that you are pregnant.
The style though was of a well written poem. Hope you won the contest.
trekkergirl -
I felt touched by this poem, yet I didn't fully understand it. The imagery here was vibrant. It drew me into the poem...causing me to flow, along with your thoughts, to the satisfying ending. Thank you for entering. I would like to understand this piece more fully...if it isn't too personal.
-
I know that you want criticism but I actually really liked this poem.
It said a lot and was really well laid out.
I was actually interested in it once I started reading it.
It is stuff like this that makes me think of just forgetting about books in general because short things like this have more to say.
Sorry I don't have too much to say but I know that you did spend points to have it listed so I wanted to say something.
I was hoping I could point out some flaws or something but it was really good and I can't find a part I didn't like. -
Absoulutely Terrific
I want to say that this poem is beautiful, but that word has been used so much I'm afraid it's lost it's meaning. But truly, it is beautiful, and I hope that when I say that you don't take it as a brush-off. I appreciate the subject of this poem so much, it almost relates to me personally because I too struggle to shatter the illusion that has been created of me. The beginning verse is most definately my favorite, it's so artistic and carefully laid-out. I truly love work like that, and your poem is no exception. Bravo.
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