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In The City

The streets run with the sweat of a world that never rests.
The people run to catch the next train or bus
or plain or piece of news...
always what's coming
and never what is.
The streets hum endlessly
with the sounds of motors, voices, feet,
cups of change shaken for a meal or a fix,
and smoke so thick in rolling waves
breaking against the high-rises.
The heat extracts the smell of tar
and hopelessness
from the blacktop.
You won't see the sun here,
but you will feel it heavy on your back.
The only people who rest
rest too much and live in squalor,
but some envy them.
Most people rush,
always racing to nowhere
with elbows brushing elbows,
shoes stepping on one another,
and no time to notice
the shared look of stress, fear, and not enough sleep
on the surrounding sea of faces.

Author notes

I'm not sure if this is what you meant. If not I'm sorry for wasting your time with this entry.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • NurseChilly gold member
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    there is something quite evocative about wet slick stinking tarmac? - yes??

    I like this piece, my only niggle is that I do feel it could have been broken up to give some decent line breaks, so that the reader can sense the pauses in between the rush and grab of street life??

    anyways... many thanks for entering my contest
    and good luck too

    well done

    G.x


    • altatok
      April 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks.
      I probably should have and might still break it up more, now that you mention it.


  • DogFish silver member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    " altatok", this has hustle and bustle! The poem by "black-moon" in this contest really gave me the feel of a city at night in the fifties; your's gives me the gray and white feel of a city of the sixties at high noon. You have put the angst of "the rat race" in a bottle!


    • altatok
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I know what you mean about the poem by black-moon.
      It was very good, I though.
      For mine, I hadn't really thought much of a particular time-period, but I guess that one fits well, now that you mention it. I'm glad to hear that the feeling came through well in it, "the rat-race", as you said.
      Thank you so much for your comment.


  • The Time Keeper
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wewt

    When I was reading it I got the image of like, a crowded New York street thing....idk....And it was all blue and rainy....shya....

1 - 6 of 6