Oh sorrow,’
lend me not your hand this night
see! she sleeps but only dreams,
slumbers her way to mornings light,
o’er vale and ‘cross familiar streams.
Let loose your hand, she only roams
wind-blown through the mossy stones
bare-foot through the cobbled burns.
and carpet layers of soft young ferns.
Moonlight gold’s her soft brown hair.
The night is proud to have her share.
If, as you say she cannot stir
from what must be a sleep too deep
no words to bring her back again.
This heart make bold against such pain,
my mourning will be steep,
my very soul would weep
Warning echoes seize my heart
my head replies ’it can’t be so’
the hand of sorrow crushing tight
not any sign of letting go.
They dress her now in pure white shroud
I hear the whispered prayers grow loud
Oh sorrow, quick, be on your way
she would not stay too long at bay
for at the first bird morning song
she is promised to return,
as night returns the day.
Author notes
Option 4 Lost on the hill
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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this is stunning!!!!! Is this referencing to any of Lucy Gray's poems written by the Master?? sorry if it sounds dumb.. thanks much for this priced entry..
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9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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Liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines; like this old English style you used throughout the poem as well.
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This is brilliantly written, I wish you the best of luck in the contest
I really like the way you created the persona via a conversation with sorrow... it is beautifully done thank you for sharing
Keep writing
Polly
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This is excellent! I love the olde style, and it is just enough to add a pleasant flavor to the poem, nowhere near overdone. It brings to mind a fairy tale of sorts, and it was a most enjoyable read.
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Almost forgot these.
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This is gorgeous. I love the use of old language and the rhyme is spot on as well as the rhythm. Definitely bookmarking this! It reminds me of E.A. Poe's "A Dream Within A Dream."
Thank you for sharing this with the group.
animated
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A beautiful poem, sad yes definitely but it holds the reader locked in to the final word. Superb entry into this Tribute contest for a remarkable poet.
~Von~ Oldpoetry
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This is really beautiful. There is so much imagery in this poem. Good luck to you in the contest and all your future writing endeavors.
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Perfect!
Just Perfect!
Everything about this poem is fantastic. I love the olde world feel and the serene images of her walking in her "dream."
The way the dream becomes death is expressed in a smooth transition. Even the sorrow is worded beautifully and in tune with the first part of the poem.
Totally loved it. It's one of my favourites.
alby
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Nice one
I love the way it ends.
The last two lines are amazing!
You'd done a great job with this!
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very elaborate imagery. and deep undertones in this piece
i really liked it
good write and God bless
The poet of dreams
Ben B. -
You giove a melodramatic view of a widower. But if this is from your life I hope you pull thoroguh because loosing someone you love is a terrible thing to go through. A dramatic and touching poem.
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