soft, and romantic
as full and round as the moon
your lips in the night
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
A Haiku ... And a nice one. Though, haiku's are short -- they often are a bit more difficult, since you have limits to get your message across. I like the way you put this, the double meaning to the beauty of a love one and the beauty of the moon. Great metaphors pull it together nicely.
I'm 99% sure this is for option 2 -- I will still need you to put officially the #2 at least in the Authors notes.
HA--- I don't look at comments until after I do my own comments. I often feel comments tend to sway what i'm thinking... I was just ready to hit submit comment when I spotted your Option 2 ... Disregard the above paragraph.
Thanks for entering the contest, it was my pleasure reading your work.
Best of luck,
Florida Sunshine
-
option 2
-
Add some color
'as full as the harvest moon' seems to be more romantic to me.
as the full bright moon
seems like the very last tooth
in an empty mouth
-
I'm impressed. A different take on a haiku. The ending is surprising and makes the reader go back to reread.
-
flows beautifully. I see you are back and your words are perfect. You reinvigorate me. great write. Have a great day. You inspire me so much.
-
pretty
-
yah yah ... like the flow and imagery.
Steve
-
very pretty great images Good luck Deary in the contest
-
Your haiku comment in 5-7-5
Either revision
Or my vision became changed
As now reads perfect -
This is beautiful! Good luck in the contest!
-
Your haiku comment in 5-7-5
Strayed a tiny bit
Rethink line mentioning moon
And then its perfect
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
