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Perfect War

Limbs extend outward,
begging for the moon's embrace.
While internal battles rage,
creating annihilation,
greater than Hades frantic wrath.

Consisting of unsightly emotions,
tearing themselves to ribbons,
over their contradictory problem.
Sending each other into pure chaos,
within their souls.

Author notes

Prompt: Tyranny
30-40 words

A contest entry

Please critique my work if you feel this needs improving

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • tony yates silver member
    March 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    brilliant

    very well written, great write, good luck and thank you


  • Blooming Poet
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I never thought that there was such thing as a perfect war, it doesn't seem possible. The amount of emotion put into your wording makes this poem very powerful and it leaves a lasting impression on your reader. Great use of 30-40 words.

  • Page Deleted.
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a well penned piece, I enjoyed reading it. I would however add punctuation to improve the presentation and influence the way it is read, but the words are good. Thank you for entering.