I live now between planes of dark and light
a being made of day and night, I strive.
A shadowed sight that lives in dusk's twilight;
I, shadow scourge, fallen angel, connive.
I'm chained and bound in way that will fit
a winged demon, I scream my endless rage.
My angry thirst denied, I aspire to spit
out Hell's tirade, outrage on embered stage.
Bound by my evil, in the land of nospace;
a foolish angel cries mindless torment
of no time and place in heartless disgrace,
of the greatest love, I left unspent.
My soul darkens itself in endless night.
My eyes unseeing in my blinded sight.
Copyright © Gregory Schrupp
Author notes
Option #8
A contest entry
- Multiple options for DARK POETRY! by notorious.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Dark Alchemy: Turning silver and bronze into GOLD for dark prewrites. by howlinginpain.
1100 points, ended April 9, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - not everyone else by callmeZakk.
482 points, ended May 2, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1: CRANE JOUSTING!!!!!! by Great Cthulhu.
1000 points, ended May 3, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness and Love, Demons above by AbandonedAngel.
350 points, ended September 19, 2008, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by poets whisper.
800 points, ended November 11, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Angels/Devils..... by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended November 16, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Angels and Darkness by colie50.
625 points, ended December 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticize freely, I need input to improve
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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this is nice and twisted. the rge that came from this.
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ooo delicious read
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Excellent
Oh my this is truly masterful. So very skillful and deserving of the gold. Congratulations
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Congrats on the gold!!
Wow, this is one hell of a dark piece
Thought I would check it out just to see if the phrase dark angel meant the same to both of us and seems it does I really do love this tho, the emotion screams fury, fantastic imagery. Nothing to criticize here at all! Superbly penned 
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hard to criticize what you really like
lol
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I liked this, but I'm not quite sure you got the prompt down correctly. Did you mean 4th quote? Well, either way, I'm not really sure it fits my contest =/ It was a really great write, though, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it ^^
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It fits picture prompt #8
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I'm loving the oxymorons you used in this write.
They added something to the two sides of the being.
The final two lines really packed a punch.
Excellent write...
Thanks for the entry... -
this is a nice read.
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...omg that was so freakin wonderful! I loved it and couldn't rip my eyes away from the page! Thanks for entering
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Thanks!
I love 'fallen angels'. They are thematic in my life.
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Good and Dark!
Impressive write! Delving into the dual nature inside us all, well done. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and only noticed one flub, in your first stanza, live and connive do not rhyme. The eternal ache evident in your lines just screams out at me, well done, very emotive. Your imagery was nicely accomplished. I do wish you had read the description of the contest. I was looking for apocalyptic writes and this is not. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering! -
Greatness!
The ultimate battle between heaven and hell, good and evil caught between two planes! I loved this! The imagery was so vivid! Your words were complex but not contrived. Nothing felt forced. The flow was nice. I really enjoyed reading this. You have talent and it shows. I would not change a thing!
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I love this. It had excellent flow and a superb vocaulary. This is a great write but because it won gold previously it can't win here although it rightly deserves to place.
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Thank you for your kindness
Sorry, for my mistake
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I love this part...
Bound by my evil, in the land of nospace;
a foolish angel cries mindless torment
of no time and place in heartless disgrace.
Of the greatest love, I left unspent.
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well done. You worked this one, every verse was just awesome. Its so true if we dwell on two opposing things it can turn out bad. Some of us see only what we want to see....You rocked this dark poem...
novy
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Congrats on the GOLD
well deserved, thanks for sharing this excellent piece with the group.
E
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not only do we share common minds, but I see from this lament, we're on the same page today
Joe -
"The conflict of right and wrong is the sickness of the mind." Once snared by evil thoughts and doings, we become our own worst enemy
Joe
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Wow--this was indeed dark and had some fantasy-ish undertones (at least in my imagination!)
For a rhyming poem, this didn't sound contrived at all.
I love how you creative put no space in between "nospace" so as to better highlight your point.
I also appreciate how hell is capitalized to emphasize its meaning. It's very good. Every single line was poetic, but the ones that really stood out for me:
"Mixed sight, an existence in twilight"-A perfect rhyme...truly.
"shadow scourge I, fallen angel, connive."-I love the odd word combinations.
"outrage on ember stage" Brilliant.
The last lines remind me of the last 2 lines in the first stanza...whether this was intentional or not, it was nice.
HOWEVER...although it was obvious you chose Option 4, in your Author's Notes, it MUST say which option you chose...Just because it's obvious doesn't mean you don't comply with the rules! I need evidence about which option you chose in the Author's Notes, so please change this.
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