Once upon a time is the way this fairytale begins.
‘Tis the story of a beautiful girl, unwanted and unloved.
As fairytale characters are wont to do, she had two ugly older sisters
And also a wicked stepmother with a husband dearly departed.
The girl was forced to wash the dishes
And scrub the dirty floors,
Make her sisters' smelly beds
And oil the squeaky doors.
"Why haven't you cleaned my bedroom?"
Whined her whiny older sister.
"Why don't you do it yourself, you bitch?"
Muttered an angry little Cinder.
And so the story continues with Prince Charming hosting a ball.
The ugly sisters were dressing up, preparing to sparkle and shine.
Cinder stayed at home and moped until her godmother appeared,
Then "FINALLY!" grumbled Cinder. "You sure took your time!"
"Do you want to go to this ball or not?"
Asked her godmother, shaking her head.
"You're not the only Cinderella around,
There's a million other girls I can send instead."
"Of course I want to go," said Cinder,
"I'm sick of wearing this filthy rag.
Please forgive me for my grumpy reaction,
I'm just not used to a fairy in drag."
Her godmother glared at her
Then airily waved her cigarette.
"Your curfew's at fifteen past ten
Don't be late and don't forget."
"You want me to go dressed like this?"
Cinder asked with an incredulous expression.
"I mean, come on Mr Godmother, sir,
At least give me a bottle of bourbon!"
And lo and behold, the bottle appeared
Along with a dress and a giant pumpkin.
"What's that for?" Cinder pondered.
Came the reply: "It's what you're riding in."
"I think I'd rather walk," she said,
Eyeing it and slowly backing away.
"It’s your choice," snickered her fairy godmother.
"Not my fault if you don't choose the traditional way."
So Cinderella began to walk,
With her glass slippers and fancy attire.
She walked until her feet began to sweat,
Oh, by then her situation was so dire.
Only fifteen minutes remaining
For her to win over the Prince.
But her feet were covered in painful blisters
And when she tried to walk she winced.
"My poor poor feet," she whimpered
As she stumbled up to the palace.
Then she threw open the ballroom doors
- And boy, did she look like a menace.
Cinderella looked out at the crowd,
Searching for the highly eligible bachelor.
Then she hurled her shoes at him and shouted,
"Screw you! You can keep your stupid slippers!"
Then she limped away as fast as she could,
As fast as her aching feet would carry her.
The Prince lost sight of her in the crowd
And nobody lived happily ever after.
Author notes
Option 4.
My name is Joey & I wrote this for a school assignment.
My teacher didn't like it much, but at least I had fun writing it =]
In a list
A contest entry
- She's Only Happy In The Sun (( Cheer Me Up)) by HereComesTheSun.
450 points, ended September 22, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract Options For Bizarre Poets xD by KyleBerg.
1750 points, ended October 8, 2008, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Laughter is the best medicine! by Anu-Nataraj.
550 points, ended November 8, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ended November 27, 452 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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this was hilarious.
Thnx for entering
Best of luck! -
lol i liked this.
it was hilarious! 
WOW! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Lol well I liked it, even if your teacher didn't. Great job, thanks for entering and good luck :-)
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Ooh good twist on an old classic!!! I like the attitude you gave that stuck up little brat, and im glad she didn't get what she wanted, she was just as whiny as her ugly step sisters haha
Thanks for the entry and good luck in my contest!! -
loe the title its cool
"The girl was forced to wash the dishes
And scrub the dirty floors,
Make her sisters' smelly beds
And oil the squeaky doors.
"Why haven't you cleaned my bedroom?"
Whined her whiny older sister.
"Why don't you do it yourself, you bitch?"
Muttered an angry little Cinder. "
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this almost makes me want to cry it's so beautiful. 
thank you for taking the time to enter and best of luck to you. I sincerely enjoyed it.
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an interesting twist to the normal story i found it a bit funny good luck in you other contest
~GOOD LUCK~ (for mine)
*Dark Poet* -
hehe, this is a well written, great modern parody of the traditional fairy tale. and alot more realistic lol
well done, thanks for entering and good luck
xxx
=] -
Thank you for entering my contest. This is a funnhy parody on Cinderella, but it does have a typo.
The girl was forced to wash the dishes
And scrubs the dirty floors,
should read:
The girl was forced to wash the dishes
And scrub the dirty floors,
I reqally like the godmother in drag. -
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Thank you for pointing that typo out to me, I've fixed it now
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I loved it!!!!!
It was hilarious!
It really made me laugh. Aww nobody lived happily ever after, poor them.
Muhahahaha i'm not evil?
Great poem adn good luck !!
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"Why don't you do it yourself, you bitch?"
Muttered an angry little Cinder.
hahaha..i loved that !! hahaha..
The Prince lost sight of her in the crowd
And nobody lived happily ever after.
hahaha
my God !!
what an amazing piece poet!!
good luck in the contest and life,
Anagha-Natara
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Hey i just wanted to comment this poem again, as i gave it silver and wanted to show my appreciation for the entry in my contest. The concept of a twisted fairytale is one of the most fantastic things i've seen and the ability to write something so hilarious inspires me to have a lot of respect for you and your writing talent.
Congrats on the trophy and thanks again for giving me the chance to be enchanted by this great poem
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Very cute, couldn't help but laugh
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:-) This poem made me smile, thank you.
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Haha how funny. Very well done.
Dani. -
This is absolutely wonderful! At the start i was a bit hesitant, thinking it would be a cliche parody.. but then i got to - "Why don't you do it yourself, you bitch?" - and i was chuckling through the rest of it
Incredibly creative, with a fantastic twist at the end. I sincerely thank you for entering and best of luck
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I usually dont like humor poems but i loved how you twisted the usual cinderella fairytale.
Really amazing and wonderfully written.
"Cinderella looked out at the crowd,
Searching for the highly eligible bachelor.
Then she hurled her shoes at him and shouted,
"Screw you! You can keep your stupid slippers!"
Loved this part had me laughing like a fool -
Now that is the kind of "fairy tale" that I like! LOL That was great! Thanks for the entry
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"Why haven't you cleaned my bedroom?"
Whined her whiny older sister.
"Why don't you do it yourself, you bitch?"
Muttered an angry little Cinder.
i love this line
so amazing great job
made me giggly and laugh
im not a fan of fairytales there shit we are told as kids and the hope of a charming guy is hopeless these days
a finalist for sure
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Then she limped away as fast as she could,
As fast as her aching feet would carry her.
The Prince lost sight of her in the crowd
And nobody lived happily ever after.
real life! more so than any fairy tail could ever be. thank you for entering -
This was so funny. This is more real than any fairy tale could ever be. LOL Thanks for entering and for the laughs
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hahaha! Funny one!
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"The Prince lost sight of her in the crowd
And nobody lived happily ever after."
An appropriate ending. Your poem nicely preserves the taste of the original fairytale, but is entertaining and rebellious at the same time. -
this was great and soo funny thanks for sharing this and i hope to read moef rom you soon.
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This isn't
The way I remember Cinder,HEHE This was a cute rendition, poor cinder, poor prince, poor shoes, HEHE Good luck in the contest -
lolz!This was funny!I LOVE funny poems!And this for one was one of 'em!Plus it rhymed!Thanks for this awesome entry!
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ROFL! I loved this poem. This is an original parody of Cinderella, and it made me laugh. I love how you gave Cinderella a real personality(like how she calls her stepsister a *bunny* and how she yells "Screw you!" near the end.) Having her godmother smoke cigarettes was a nice touch. Great job! And thanks for entering my contest.
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Ha! LOL, you sure twisted this one, but I personally think this is more realistic, I mean, who rides in a skanky old Pumpkin, talk about your hoopty! and every Fairy I have ever seen is indeed in drag.
This is funny, ya done really good on this.
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Very funny, I really like this modern day cinders story, with no happy ending. Good luck in the contest.
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HAHAHA! This is outrageously awesome! The way you wrote it reminded me of a funny, but aggressive comic strip, and I can't stop laughing as I visualize Cinder throwing the ballroom doors open, pained, possibly drunk, disheveled and rushed as all hell. Gloriously amusing! Congrats and good luck in the contest!
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awwww this is such a different write hehe but i love the way you have written it.it is so different well done beautiful sissy
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I do love this, completely love what your writing about and how you do it. The only thin is the flow just needs a slight tweak thats all. But completely loved the twisted fairy tale.
Nicely done and Good luck on the contest! -
lol--i love it, have you seen cinderella III a twist in time--its hilarious lol
♥ meg
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No, I haven't seen it Thanks for the comment Meg <3
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ohh this is funny girlios.
"Of course I want to go," said Cinder,
"I'm sick of wearing this filthy rag.
Please forgive me for my grumpy reaction,
I'm just not used to a fairy in drag."
luv ya xoxo
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Thanks Boober
Y'know who didn't like it though?
Grozii.
Cause she'd never heard of the word wont.
WONT not WON'T.
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