That feeling on a hot summers day
On the beach with sand under you
You grab a handfull of it
And it slides through your fingertips
Silky and so delicate
Like a sunrise in the sky
Beauty beyond explaination
Author notes
sorry this is short but what more can i say
A contest entry
- Skin by Mari Goes.
700 points, ended April 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really could feel the sand slipping through my hand...nice, when it's hot & dry...beautiful - thanks for your entry!
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We had a really warm summer here in South Africa and living in at the sea I can very much associate with the metaphor of sand and beach you've applied here. I could see this one - nicely done.
Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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I do miss that feeling. What can be better in a summer day than feel the warm beach sand under our feet?
Thanks for bringing this summer feel into a cold winter day
Mari
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The descriptions are quite vivid and definitely paint an enjoyable picture for the reader, however I feel that the poem drifted more towards beauty itself in nature in lieu of stemming as reply or result from the three ladies writings...nonetheless as sashaness stated, in few words created a poignant image of soothing calm and awe.
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I could use some beach weather. I'm sick of the freezing temps and the snow.
It would be interesting to see what this poem would read like with a little pruning of possibly unnecessary words, like "of it" in line three, also in line six, eliminating a redundant adverb like "so." BTW, I believe there are a couple typos, lines 3 and 7, but that's no big deal.
I remember in my youth letting that warm sand filter through my fingers, thanks for giving me back that fond memory.
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A beautiful discrption of a summers day down at the beach bring it on springs not so good here this year it is snowing and cold roll on the summer i say great write Brian.
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Wow that's really great! I love your title for this piece. I think it fits really nicely. I'm amazed at your ability to take me to such a lovely place in so few words! Not many people can accomplish that (myself included). I guess I like this poem so much because it just seems to be so full of joy for life! That's not something you come across everyday. It's a great lift in spirts. Thank you for sharing
-Sasha
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