In the distance, I saw a flag
fluttering in a gentle breeze
as I left the cemetery.
A scene so different from
the one I watched earlier as
a flag was being folded for the widow
and her children.The gun salute
deafens my heart to the
strained beauty of Taps knowing
this scene is being played over,
time and time again across America.
I thought to myself, how can I find
some ambiance of peace in these
conflicting emotions while
knowing politicians masquerade
their sins with disoriented views of
Patriotism. They spout a rhetoric
of allegiance to a flag, regurgitating
cliches of all the "just wars fought
before", claiming truth is on
their side. They offer blasphemies
to all who protest their claims.They strut
around like flamboyant street preachers
while the blood of the young coagulates
in coffins as they are carried
in stillness to the grave.
They use false ceremony to fill the
void of shattered families as they
cry War. I ask myself, how can we not
be changed?
Author notes
and Pilate said,"What is truth."
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration...or...Word Bank...or Something You Know I Will Adore... by SummerlandRayne.
519 points, ended March 29, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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very good thanks for the entry You did a good job
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this is great you ran a fine line here in the offending of the silly, but i loved this and you deserved gold not just for the poetry, but for questioning and also saying it like it is
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OK. First, I utterly agree with the content. I like very much the gravity, majesty, precision of your words. The poem itself, however, reads more like prose (very good strong prose) broken up into lines. What if your line breaks came at the end of thought units? What if you left out some words that prose would require, trusting to the more generous reading that we give a poem? For instance:
A scene so different/ from
the one I watched earlier/
a flag folded for the widow
and her children./ Twenty-one guns
deafen my heart/ to the
strained beauty of Taps/ I know
this scene./ It plays over,
time and time again/ across America.
How can I find
some ambiance [I'd look for a different work, more physical and tangible]of peace/
in these conflicting emotions [something much more vivid and experienced] while knowing [is this really what you mean? I would think about the different flavors of knowing]
politicians/ masquerade [again, is this the word? It suggests playing at, rather than concealing; I suspect you want something to evoke hypocrisy or cynicism]their sins with disoriented [really? not 'distorted'?] views of
Patriotism. -
great poem flowed great and the rhyme was right on, i look forward to reading more of these keep it up man
Lucian" -
AMEN!!!
I concur completely with your sentiments. While I support the troops in the war I think we should end it one way or another and stop losing our patriotic men.
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truthful....
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Very introspective.
The Title speaks. This is a very interesting poem and well written. Yes how can we not be changed by the amount of funerals that there have been since the beginning of this war. If there had not been so much rhetoric about the purpose of it and more truth about what was the reality maybe there wouldn't be so much discontent in the people today. You have done a marvolous job with this and deserved your award.
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Interesting political perspective. The loss of each service man is a tragic loss. Politicians on both sides of the issue use our current conflict as a means of furthering their political careers. It is the blatant oppurtunism on both sides that sickens me.
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You know what my sweet friend...truer and more needful words...have never been spoken!!! BRAVO!!! Good for you D...you said this so well, just the way I believe. I am touched and completely impressed!!! You know I am thinking of you...and you are in my every meditation for healing!
Love~
Az
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Wow. The imagery was amazing in this. I could picture every line. Beautifully done. I loved it.
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Well deserved Gold here hun, well done!
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Amazing poem, raw and real. I love this ending, how could we not be changed!
Congrats on the well deserved gold!
blessings,
Michelle
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How can we not be changed ?? well it dont seem to have worked thus far
you use your words wisely and pen from the heart you raise many thoughts once more for us to ponder over. There is a wisdom to your lines a pleasure to thinking and hope in some of the answers. Good luck in the contest,.
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This reached into my soul...you wrote directly to my heart. How can I thank you? Perhaps by saying...you said things in this verse that I have been unable to verbalize with such poetic excellence. I am touched...deeply!
Blessings~
Az -
You paint a strong picture of the sadness, I know how you can...you have lived this scenario in life and it is one that never changes when war is in the world. Love, C
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