They say Paul the Roofer never uses a loofah
Gemma washes his back
And talking of Gemma, she's tattooed in henna
(And they reckoned ALICE was slack!)
Paul likes a tattoo, he's got quite a few
And rings in his ears and his face
More than one or two think that he's lost a screw
And others think he's a disgrace!
He wears denim with passion, and says it's the fashion
And I'm sure it WAS decades ago
His intelligence quotient he considers quite potent
But most people think he is 'slow'!
An artist with easel and painting a weasel
Would capture Paul's features just right
Now here's the rub, one lad in the club
Says he looks like a rat, but that's 'tight'!
From Burnley he hails which should be in Wales
Coz everyone there's interbred
They have knobs on their heads, and sisters in beds
They'll shag anything once it has bled!
Paul got in rather deep when found shagging a sheep
The policeman asked the lad why
He said, "She was quite active and frankly attractive
So I thought that I'd give it a try!"
He was hauled into court where the judge sat and thought
Then said in a voice rather formal
"This case is dismissed, let's go and get pissed
Shagging sheep in Burnley is normal!"
In establishments smokey he does karaoke
(I've lied to get this to rhyme!)
It's called licence poetic and I KNOW it's pathetic
But I do it a lot of the time!
Colin's his Dad, and he's not a bad lad
His personality's sublime
He counts on an abacus, sings "The Court of King Caratacus"
And every line's out of time!
Paul likes dancing with poofs and he LOVES mending roofs
He does gutters and chimneys as well
They say working with lead makes you daft in the head
Cleaning pigeon shit makes the lad smell!
I'll now end this poem as it's time I was going
But I'll tell you one thing for a start
I've made Paul look a fool, and frankly, it's cruel
Coz the lad has a flipping big heart!
Author notes
Paul's a friend (prob ex-friend now!) from our local British Legion club, and only SOME of this is true!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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You write humorous poetry so well, I'll definitely be stopping by more often to read what you've got.
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You are the man!
That is just great! I love your flow, its almost lyrical! This is my favorite part, though!
In establishments smokey he does karaoke
(I've lied to get this to rhyme!)
It's called licence poetic and I KNOW it's pathetic
But I do it a lot of the time!
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Tks Sweetypie.
R.
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Most Delightful
Paul is a real person!!!
What you say about this man!
I can just hear him cursing.
He never will understand.
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Correst, Paul wasn't impressed.
Luv,
Robin.
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lol
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i could be picky here robin but i will just smile instead
a good poem.
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I was getting quite excited by the loofah but you decided not to take it anywhere! A warmhearted piece of fun for which many thanks.
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Mr Duck,
How iz ya?
Thanks 4 kind comments.
Bin away in France and going back 2day, which is why u haven't seen much of me (no PC there yet).
All the best old lad.
Robin. -
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Bonne Chance, Monsewer
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Brilliant , really excellent
I reckon everyone knows a Paul!!
I had tears of laughter.
Many thanks
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Thanx 4 kind comments Mr Cliffy.
If Cliff were your surname, which I doubt, then yr parents missed a great opportunity. You could have been christened Fallingoffa!
We had a Percy Pigg at school, about 200 years ago.
And at primary school, during morning register, our teacher used to call out our names backwards :- IE "Tumman Robin", and we'd reply "Present Miss". Imagine the giggles when Rita Dyer's name was called daily!
This silliness reminds me of an interlude in a radio programme years ago, where families were introduced to the guests at a society ball :-
"Welcome Mr and Mrs Wallcarpeting, and their son Walter! Next is Mr and Mrs N.D. Tonic with their daughter Gina, followed by Mr and Mrs Carbonara and their niece Spaghetti!"
Silly reaally!
Thanx again.
Robin.
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