She checks my drawer
multicolour crayons
scattered in disdain
sighful compositions
filling morbid circumstances.
She stares at her expressions
..the irony of her feelings
with reality
is quite amusing for her.
The flesh speak of martyrs doings
the bearing of insanity
which whips over skin
with the signs that crumble
as evidences.
~she fakes everything~
For the fear of night
that shall succumb her
she is infinitely brave.
Her hand perfectly knits the dead
the bodys sprawled
filled with contemplations.
As she threads the button
on to her spirit,
the realisation of dead ammunitions
retaliate....
...finally, she shrugs
her bones scream
Pains over
life begins.
Author notes
freedom
A contest entry
- skin & bones by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended March 23, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Just a quick comment to say thanks for entering this into my contest, sorry you didnt win but obviously there can only be three trophies given, which is a shame cause in this contest there deserved to be alot more winners! xxx
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You've penned some really great imagery in this piece. You've got a very unique style. Best wishes and thanks for entering.
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Thanks!
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Interesting take
I have to struggle with poems like these. My right brainedness sometimes gets in the way. Creative, descriptive thought can either be linear or abstract. Your abstract thought is going to be awesome when it matures. Keep growing, poetess. Thanks for the read.
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oh yeah! I love abstract! It speaks about stuff and leaves an open thought for readers..but then of course the poet has something else in mind!
Thanks for the comment and clappies
pri
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Evcellent
Brilliant and an originally take on the prompt.
Wonderful methaphors and vocabulary.
I am in awe of your surperb talents*sigh*
I love the following as it tugs at the heart...
" The flesh speak of martyrs doings
the bearing of insanity
which whips over skin
the signs that crumble
as evidences
she fakes everything."
Very Well penned
Wish you the best in the contest
Much love
Many blessings
David
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Thanks...!!
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Hey its beautifully written.. i simply loved the way you've captured the essence of the prompt in such a unique style.. imagery is amazing.. especially the first stanza.. overall a very strong and powerful poem.. thanx for sharing..
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Thanks neha..
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well written - at first reading it makes one feel as tho they are within the writers nightmare of worry and insanity - bones of obscurity laced upon our being eternal damnation and disdain carcassed with feelings it shall complete them with a reborne cycle many blessings always and thank you for sharing
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Thanks for commentin n da clappies
pri
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Wow. Some really strong imagery you have used here. I love the one of her looking at the crayon drawings especially. The tone and mood here are perfectly captured and consistent throughout. It's so important to be true to self. I might suggest some grammar improvements, but other than that, youve done a great job of capturing her story! well done!
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well...grammar n me dont get along
thanks for the awesome comment!
pri
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