As the yolks hardened,
I was reminded not to be yolked
with unbelievers.
As I dipped the shells downward,
I recalled the bread dipped
at the Last Sup.
When the dye stained fingers,
I reminisced on the way
He died to cleanse stains.
When my only child grasped
her Easter bear, I thought
of how His Only bears our sins.
And when the family thanks me,
I will thank Him for family,
for my basket overflows.
Author notes
PO contest
Theme: Easter
I must include the fact that I do not wish to discuss my religion, for the sanctity of freedom.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
750 points, ended March 24, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I'm very sorry I missed out on judging this week, but wanted to swing by and comment now that the holiday craziness is over...
Firstly, congrats on the HM!
I know the competition was fierce this week and picking ANY winner had to be a tough task for Bear. I will say, I think this would have done somewhat better on my scoreboard, if only because it differs slightly from Bear's. But...scores really aren't the point because, IMHO, this is a poem you can and should be very proud of having penned no matter what. I love how you've taken the more commercial aspects of Easter and shown us a way to see and connect them to the deeper meaning in the holiday, and at the same time brought personal elements into it. This isn't a poem that reaches out and grabs you hard (which is what I normally look for in a PO contest poem) but gently leads the reader along in a very peaceful way, and brought me deeper because of it. You have a wonderful use of homonyms that I found creative and original, to boot.
I'm letting my "critiquing glasses" sit pretty loosely since I'm not judging, but if you do want any further suggestions please let me know as I may have a couple minor ones.
Thanks so much for sharing this in the POW, and congrats once again. I hope we'll see you again soon in the next POM! (Hint, hint
)
Hoping you had a joyful Easter,
~J.
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Cool! I like your message in here, and great wording.
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Nice tribute to Jesus and to Easter, Eggs and all, Glad to see you placed in the POW, it takes talent to get anything there.
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So nice ~
This is the most inventive write I have had the pleasure of reading lately :)
I am not going to critique this week.....as I only want to comment on insight and views of personal opinion ~
I absolutely adored this entry......I am not sure if it will score as high as a couple of others......but I thank you for putting your quill to the challenge and penning something worthy of praise!
Truely a write which shines upon those who read it :)
The best to you and your entry,
....good luck!
Bear ~
Title 10....perfection ~
Flow 9.85
Depth 9.35
Theme 10
Feelings 9.65
Grammar 9.55
Presentation 9.7
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 98.1
Very nice!
No editing ~
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The last stanza is perfect.
Very powerful and meaningful.
Great
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Very good, love the word play, very well written poem,
well done and good luck in the contest!
Floorboards.
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Simply stated, easy to read and understand the words you use to express your feelings on this special holiday.
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Well penned!
Happy Easter and best wishes in the contest!
Write on.
*PEACE*
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A wonderfully unique piece, I love the direction you've taken this. So very creative and has the perfect title. Best one I have read! All the best in the contest
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wow!...I really like how you have done this with the 'parallel's'...excellent! (and a great title, too). Your wording is great, images well done. I, too, didn't want to discuss my religion as it all basically says the same, and there are only so many ways you can state it. But this - I would have never thought of.
I really like this.
Well done!
best wishes in the contest.
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