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Fire Mind

Moon’s enthralling call
reverberating off silver lit trees
as the inferno arises
around tribal tattooed wrists
creating a blazing ferocity
within his baleful seducing mind





Author notes

25 words
My own prompt-
Pyromaniac

Option 6, ShadowsMidnightRose, and "A Beautiful Lie" by 30 Seconds To Mars

A contest entry

Please critique my work if you feel this needs improving

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Simply Simple
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    PYRO!!! Me too! Yay!! Excellent work my friend. I love this one. Thanks for entering.


  • cover fire hero
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice use of some assonance(entralling call) and the alliteration was subtle enough. Thanks for your entry.


  • Lost in a Dreamstar
    March 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good!Short.I personally don't like short poems to well but good!

  • piccola silver member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I saw the beginning of a pattern here if you center align and phrase it somewhat like this:
    The moons
    enthralling call
    reverberating off of
    silver lit trees, the inferno
    arises around tribal tattooed wrists
    creating a blazing ferocity within his
    baleful seducing mind

    the only thing is syllable wise it needs some work.
    make it nine lines with the lines like this:
    2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2 and begin and end with the exact same two syllable word or words. In this case, "the moons"

    It could be a perfect rictameter


  • maralisa silver member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow moons enthralling call reverberating off silver lit trees a great take on your promt thank you for sharing this with the group


  • Hetha gold member
    March 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked:
    "as the inferno arises
    around tribal tattooed wrists
    creating a blazing ferocity
    within his baleful seducing mind"

    Intense imagery that paints an unmistakable picture within my mind. Wonderful take on the "pyromaniac" prompt you created.


  • Blooming Poet
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is stunning. I love it. Love the wording in this part:
    as the inferno arises
    around tribal tattooed wrists

    Great work.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Liked your interpretation of this word prompt in this contest. Good alliteration and some wonderful word combinations throughout.

1 - 8 of 8