PLEASE DO NOT BE TURNED OFF BY THE LENGTH, FOR YOU WILL ONLY TRULY UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE THIS IF YOU READ THE ENTIRE THING, THANK YOU, CRACKERTL82
Red For All The World To See:
Introduction:
i'm so tired, i'm so high
blood is falling from the sky
rainy day, and no one's home
there's no place left for me to roam
no one feels this way i do
in this whole world of green and blue
and black and white, and bloody red
when i stop dreaming, i'll be dead
i close my eyes and fall asleep
there's nothing left for me to see
the world's on fire, it's coming down
if i don't burn, than i will drown
there's nothing left, but grief and pain
my life will never be the same
but once upon a brighter day
that pain began to fade away
i looked into her lovely eyes
more blue than of the clearest skies
the angel rises high above
one glimpse of her, and i'm in love
i only hope she'll feel the same
or bloody red again will rain
Bridge:
there's no one in my life, i wipe a teardrop from my eye
i turn my head up to the sky, and i begin to wonder
it's raining bloody tears, it's been so dark, so many years
i'll have to face my deepest fears, now i can feel the thunder
my eyes are oh so tired, my body's burning in the fire
but still my heart beats with desire, and i will always love her
the daylight turns to gray, now all of the birds have flown away
i close my eyes and start to pray, don't let this take me under...
Verse 1:
she wants me inside her, or is she a tease
i sit down beside her, i'm down on my knees
i beg her to love me, be kind to my heart
if she knew that she owned me she'd tear me apart
i looked in her eyes then, i crept towards her slow
i love when she smiles and, i want her to know
Chorus 1:
That I love her, but does she love me
I want to get to know her, I want her to need me
My heart cannot beat if i'm always alone
I'll need someone to cry to when i'm feeling low
Verse 2:
She's lovely, she's special, the air that i breathe
she's all that i dream of, she's all that i need
she kisses me softly, wipes a tear from my eye
she knows that without her i'd might as well die
i started to cry then, from love and not pain
our eyes cannot wander, our hearts beat the same
Chorus 2:
Her lovely eyes, her lovely face
her beautiful body, her beautiful taste
She feels so good, and she looks so fine
I thank god everyday that she's all mine
Verse 3:
She touches me gently, she says she's in love
i told her she's prescious, i love her so much
i kissed her, i hugged her, she let me inside
i made her feel special, she made me feel high
i look down upon her, she's more than a crush
i know that i've fallen, i know i'm love
Chorus 3:
Now all i know, and all i need
is the love that she gives me, it's always inside of me
her love's all i need for the rest of my life
and i'll always stand beside her till the day that i die
Verse 4:
i'm there by her side when we get the bad news
her heart's beating poorly, her life she might lose
i looked in her eyes, and i started to cry
she's made me so happy, and soon she might die
it's hard to believe that my dreams have come true
but my heart would be broken if i ever lost you
Chorus 4:
Her failing heart, her fading days
the pain that this causes just won't go away
the love and the joy, now is breaking my heart
i've finally found love, now it's falling apart
Verse 5:
I'm silently praying that she isn't dead
the doctor comes out and he's hanging his head
i'm sorry to say that i have some bad news
she's falling asleep, and there's nothing i can do
if you'd like to hold her, one very last time
i'll leave you alone and be waiting outside
Chorus 5:
i tell her i love her, and that could never change
this pain overwhelms me, and god is to blame
he took her to soon, and she felt so much pain
it hurts when she breathes, and it hurts me the same
Verse 6:
She died in my arms, in my loving embrace
i tried not to cry, when they took her away
it hurts when i think of a lifetime alone
the angel i've lost, and the love that i've known
when i'm tired, i close my eyes, and i can still see her face
i can still feel her heartbeat in our bed where she laid
Chorus 6:
i'll always love her, and she'll always love me
i'm no one without her, but she had to leave me
my heart keeps on beating, once again i'm alone
now there's no one left to cry to, and there's no place to go
Verse 7:
the whole world is sleeping, the sun has gone down
there's so much to say, but there's no one around
i wish they would listen, would they understand
this pain overwhelms me, i'm only a man
it hurts even worse, when it's bottled inside
but the day it escapes, is the day that i'll die
Chorus 7:
i'll never forget her, my beautiful wife
i can still see her crying, if i just close my eyes
and whenever i dream, i remember my days
that she spent in my heart, that were taken away
Verse 8:
my life has no meaning, my heart has no fire
my body and soul's drained of all it's desire
decisions are easy, when you're down in your life
it's all in the method, a gun or a knife
i've tried to be strong, but i can't take this pain
so i pulled back the trigger, and i blew out my brains
Chorus 8:
i can't take it back, now i've ended it all
my blood, love and pain are displayed on the wall
the light shines so bright, at the end of the hall
but as soon as i touch it, is as soon as i fall
Verse 9:
my body is burning, the sky's bloody red
blood painfully flows through the hole in my head
the demons surround me, and dwell deep inside
they tear out my heart, and they burn out my eyes
they feed off of sorrow and whisper in my ears
that you never loved me for all of those years
Chorus 9:
i've fallen in love, now i'm falling apart
the things that i've seen here are breaking my heart
i just want to go home, or to be where you are
i wish i could go to heaven, with a piece of your heart
Verse 10:
my body is shaking, i open my eyes
i'm back in my life, but i'm empty inside
i need to be near you, and give you a kiss
but i was just dreaming, and you don't exist
i started to cry then, i just can't believe
i've fallen in love, and you were only a dream
Chorus 10:
my heart keeps on beating, but nothing is real
how long was i sleeping, and what should i feel
i don't have a name, and i don't have a life
it can't be explained, and i'll never know why
Conclusion:
i'm so tired, i'm so low
now it's time for me to go
bury me and leave me there
to rest in peace, for one whole year
dig me up to set me free
hang my body from a tree
wait one year, then cut me down
the demon's come up through the ground
they torture me in my despair
they eat me till i'm barely there
in the meantime, sing a song
and close your eyes, they'll soon be gone
wait a while, one year about
then find my heart, and take it out
if my heart, still won't die
leave it someplace very high
cut it open, let it bleed
red for all the world to see
leave a note, then fly away
this is what that note should say
don't be frightened, don't be scared
you can look, but please don't stare
what you see might make you sad
but please don't cry, it's not so bad
here's a heart, that's loved so much
it couldn't die, it can't be crushed
now even though, my soul is gone
my heart still beats, it must live on
it doesn't know we've reached the end
and never will it love again
now no one knows, not even me
what's happened here, and what it means
there's one more thing i'd like to say
before i die, and fade away
i'm so tired, i'm so weak
i close my eyes, and fall asleep
life's not real, it's all a dream
and nothing here, is what it seems
you will know your time is up
when you stop dreaming, you wake up
you will know your time is up
when you stop dreaming, you stop dreaming
i opened up my eyes, i couldn't see
i opened up my mouth, i couldn't breathe
i'm forced to live my life sad and alone
there's no place i can go to call my home
there's no one i can love when i'm in need
i've tried to cut my wrists, they wouldn't bleed
i'm no one forced to live here in the dark
i love you but i don't know where you are
i remember you, an angel so it seemed
you came to me one lifetime in a dream
my heart's beating red for all the world to see
Author notes
The lyrics here aren't as good as some of my other song lyrics because i wrote this when i was 13 years old. It's obvious what this song is about, it was actually insprired by many things. Part of it is about a girl named Tara that i used to have a major crush on, and the other part is about a dream i had that probably changed my life.
Written December 5th, 2003
A contest entry
- Options...whatever [STORIES INCLUDED] by Juliette Rose.
350 points, ended December 20, 2005, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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You are right. You definitely need to read this in entirety to truly appreciate it.
Reading your work makes me wish I was a producer, because I would hire your ass in a minute. I can only imagine the cutting album you will release in the next few years. I'll be first in lime to pick it up.
"my body is shaking, i open my eyes
i'm back in my life, but i'm empty inside
i need to be near you, and give you a kiss
but i was just dreaming, and you don't exist
i started to cry then, i just can't believe
i've fallen in love, and you were only a dream"
I just wanted to say tha that that part was my favorite.
- Justin -
13 years old?!
::Turns and walks away in utter amazement::
*Eva* -
worth reading fully
I read the whole thing.
And I want to read it again.
I have some little critisisms- "blew out my brains" doesn't seems to fit the agony of the poem, I know what you're saying but when I read it outloud it struck me as kind of silly and took me out of the moment.
good job keeping up the rhyme, always good when something is in song form (by the way do you have music?) although a few, maybe even several of the rhyming words are kind of overused in poetry and I think you could work on it. Don't let your work be a cliche! I loved the intro, it seems a little above the rest though, like you put so much work into it and although you put a lot of work into the body as well, it's more separated and almost not in the same style.
Oh and one more thing, I noticed that nothing seems to be capitalized in this poem, and maybe that's symbolic, but PLEASE consider capitalizing your "i"s, maybe even just try it and look at it and see if you think it entirely changes the meaning of the poem. because I took it to mean that the issue wasn't important enough for you to capitalize a proper noun.
great job though, it was a fun read and I'll read it again. -
its pretty good but im an experience song writer and i would really try to size that song down a little bit check out my song alrite!
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its cute, but it is very long, haha, also your diction seems to drag, and your character does seem young, its too much, like i didn't really feel that much, or get a sense of beauty, but this isn't usually stuff i read, because a song can exist in different elements than a poem, but i would suggest you listen to songs by bob dylan, conor oberst (bright eyes), the mars volta, neil young, simon and garfunkle, you know, folk stuff, anyways this was good, it was very cute and thoughtful, but i think your words could use some crack
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this is weird. i dont like it.
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The length of this didn't bother me at all. I was enthralled the whole time probably couldn't have stopped reading if I had wanted to. The end is amazing and somehow not sad despite all the pain in this piece because the love was that great. I loved this. Great write. Keep up the amazing work.
~Erin~ -
AMAZING! BEAUTIFUL!
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Normally I am too lazy to read things so long, but this was just really great work, and it was definitely worth the read. Keep it up!
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Oh my god, It did not matter that it was long, without half the stuff in there, it would not have meaned as much. I'm sitting here wanting to cry (I hate crying) but can't and the pain inside me is like the pain in the song, it just hurts but I have no one to turn to. That's why I write (even if it does suck) and I don't want to dream, fear that I'll never wake up, or wake up to something I just can't take. Anyways I"ll shut up now, it was just so awesome and so...moving for me. Thanks again and keep up the fabulous writes.
~V~ -
you were right. this was definetely worth the read! you made my eyes get watery! this was so sad... when she died, my heart broke for you [or your character...] this was so beautiful...
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Ahh only 13!!! Wow. Your probaly very mature from your age and I can tell just from your work. Even though your one love has died, you should never die. Place trust, faith, believe, and love inside yourself. For it is sad when the things you love and most trust in just disappear. You have to learn to live with them in your heart and continue on with no regrets. Very well done. I like how your put the title in at the end and the only thing I didn't like was it was long, but well worth it Awesome job once again.
Edited on Apr 13, 5:17 p.m. because 'spelling'. -
Cool i wish i had the skill of you
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This is so.. i dont know.. but tis really good... wow.. you are so amazing...
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Ya know how many times I've read this fuckin thing....
god, I love it.
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Actually, I liked this a lot. It is a bit long, but I really like the second to last stanza. Good work. -
Really sweet, emotional, and touching. Though long, it is definitely worth the time to read this...very beautiful...Great job! Thank you for entering and good luck.
~Anastasia -
sing a song of sorrow for all the world to he
my god...
that was so sweet..... and sad.... it seems today's been full of sad things for me... now I'm crying... you wrote that when you were 13? How strange.... for something liek that to come to someone so young..... it almost sounds painful to even have had to write.....
anyways, I think you did a great job... good luck in the contest
and may your angel never stray from your side ^_^ -
Good writing and long. Great job and good luck in the contest. God Bless and take care, Rick
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-Reality- on Dec 10, 2003, 1:54
A red rose in a garden of white roses 288 critiques, 71 poems. said:
Wow. This is very good. It's realllllllly long 0_0. I think that is only the down part. But I like it. Its a very sad story. Is this made up or really experienced, I hope its fiction .
%%Reality%%
%Kami%
Edited on Dec 10, 1:55 because ''. (reply?)
Runawaytrain on Dec 10, 2003, 5:11
I think I can, I think I can- choo choo 1669 critiques, 40 poems. said:
she wants me inside her, or is she a tease... I actually kinda cringed when I read this line. It certainly isn't a very romantic way to put it. The rest of the song, up until this point has been lovely.
She's lovely, she's special, the air that i breathe... this is BEAUTIFUL!
the doctor comes out and he's hanging his head... I really like this line, it is very visual, and universal in the message it conveys.
Another sad song.
(reply?)
Raven Aurora on Dec 29, 2003, 9:14 p.m.
Ebony Renaissance (Proud To Be Black!) 3710 critiques, 167 poems. said:
It's lovely! But I do have to admit it is rather long...and I mean, it's going to take fifteen minutes to sing it all if it's ever recorded. I like the third verse the best; it's the one that speaks to me most. Okay, so I'm a hopeless romantic...sue me already! lol... but good song anyway, regardless of the deep involvement! One can see that you really took the time to think this out.
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora (reply?)
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This is awesome! I think that is would seem like more of a story than lyrics too. it made me cry..I don't know what else to say, this is the most amazing thing, I really think you deserve to win..GREAT JOB. love it!
Keep up the good work and take care
Steph -
wow this is awesome! you should definately win! and to make danielle cry means it is kick ass major! good luck you better win! i bet you will, knowing danielle, i might have to read the rest later, well \m/(-_-)\m/ ROCK ON!! love~ colleen
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OMG I dont know what to say this is the most amazing thing I have ever read Im in tears it touched me so deep I cant even exsplain what I feel or what I am thinking all I can do is sit here with my mouth open the tears streaming down my face and stare at the lovely words on my computer screan wow I have nothing this is the most impresive thing I have ever read in my life. Wow I really dont know what to say GREAT WRITE LOVE
~AngelSuicide* -
This is amazing! I can't picture this as lyrical, maybe as like an unplugged kind of story. Besides that, all of the rhyming and emotion was there and I was on the journey right next to you. I absoloutley adore this write.
I once had a dream where I was fiercly in love with someone, it was so real and I woke up and realized it wasn't. I cried and tried to go back to sleep. Crazy, I know.
I can't say enough how much I enjoyed this.
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