So vivid were the screams last night
That echoed through his room
As darkness overpowered light
In fear he was consumed
The agonizing tone of pain
The high pitched sounding cries
The haunting echoes sound so real
He shivers, terrified
In his bed he falls asleep
The nightmares haunt his dreams
..in fear he is awakened
Awakened to the screams
In tears he lies, too scared to cry
The darkness leaves him blind
He prays the screams and haunting dreams
Will soon vacate his mind
In a list
A contest entry
- Enter All Your Dark Writes Here (Series - II) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1500 points, ended March 27, 2008, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where Society barks up Insanity trees of Zombies seducing Vampires by Swintha.
600 points, ended April 5, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Passions by DrkPoet.
450 points, ended April 8, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - on the dark side ... prewrites ok by b497.
300 points, ended June 25, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I generally like it when the details are sparse...but in this case, no. It would be nice to have just a small hint (expressed in metaphor, perhaps) of why he is so tormented. Something to relate with. As it is, this is a bunch of cliched phrases loosly stitched together with a thin thread of rhyme.
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nice flow
the whole thing read very well.it was like a good movie. i wasn't ready for it to end. very nice
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Cool write, the strange tricks the darkness can play on someones mind and thoughts. You did a great job portraying that image here, thanks for entering
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I like, I like. Yes, I agree it is eerie. Such a simple reminder of insanity and what goes on inside our heads. This was an interesting read. Thanks heaps for the entry! Oh and good title, I like that word.
-Swintha
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This is very eerie... it reminds me of how I felt actually when I was certain that this house was haunted as I thought I heard noises coming from out of the cd player whilst it wasn't switched on. Don't really remember what it was now anyway, but it wasn't ghosts [or at least, I don't think so].
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Great poem, I have a blog called Lunatic Fringe 101 at Blogstream.com, and would very much like to post your poem there for some to see as well as appreciate. I will give your name as the author of this exceptional piece, of course. I appreciate your time in reading this comment, and I await your response.
Luna~
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Wow deeply dark and foreboding. The rhythm and flow here are flawless. A fantastic poem, so very well penned. All the best in the contest
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This writing made me feel... and want to know more... good job.
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