Please allow me to introduce my alter ego
I am one of the sacred nine though which i shall not say
for at this hour the night has overcome the day
I am the beast who's name the wind whispers on your lips
and as i walk every blade of grass bows and every creature flees
But all was not well with me
and so when one creature dared to assault me...
it found my boot had gone against its skull
Silly doggy courage is for fools
I apologize for his rudeness
charging me like that and interrupting my introduction
where was i?
oh yes i am the poetic prophet
entrapping the masses with a few simple stanzas
I am the cunning Mr. Krick known wherever i go
I am the slayer of men
and tantalizing vampire for whom women fall
But as i said before this night does not find me well
It seems my soul has been cast out of my body
And the Alley i walk has ceased to amuse
Hmmmm...... look at that house
the one with the white picket fence and the 2.5 children
the home where the father works and the mother stays to raise the children
Where they love god and go to church every Sunday
Where father loves son and mother loves father
a place where sin isn't real it's an abstract
What a happy home
how i long to break in and destroy the living room
Kick in the doors of the bedrooms and tie up the family
to bolt the doors and board the windows
to drag them to the dining room to watch me destroy the fine china
to pile them up and bathe them in warm kerosene
set them afire and jump on the family funeral pyre
But i just keep walking and they'll never know how close they came to their end
Author notes
Once upon a time I took a stroll
A contest entry
- Muses for the masses (options galore) by Goldfist.
500 points, ended March 28, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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i liked this- i truly did, but i dont exactly see how it pertains to my contest. And you didnt read the rules- i am sorry but i am going to have to remove it. But if you have another piece that is more to my tastes feel free to submit
Once again i am sorry and thank you for sharing with me this enchanting piece. the best to you, take care -T
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AMAZING!!! I'm speechless this is increasable piece you have here so much emotion angry and very dark :] interesting indeed love to see more of your work Aaron you do a great job on your poems and your imagination is just wow amazing keep it up and do what you best YOU KEEP ON WRITING until your hands fall off
no really great job 
love this
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I LOVE THIS!!! It's exactly the kind of thing I love to read. It is disturbing and twisted and grusome and PERFECT! I even evil giggled when I finished reading it. I can't wait to read more of your poems YAY FOR THIS POEM!!!! YAY FOR YOU!!!
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Ok I must be honest,
this is a bit different for me.
But in away that's a good thing.
I really need to step out of my
comfort zone at times.
I read your piece and found it
to be very enteresting. Your
ending pulled the whole piece together
rather well.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
good luck in my contest.
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Intresting
Hey, I love this is so creative and insightful in some ways. I especially like this first stanza with all the metaphores and images. You refer to yourself as Mr. Kick the slayer of men, a littl threatening almost but clever. This is almost like a short story if you think about it. well it's pretty neat. don't forget the capitalize God. Keep up the Great writing
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Either you didn't read the rules of my contest or you made an honest mistake and forgot to put the Poet you model your poem from...so...please hurry and put the poet in your author's notes....you have 3 days....after that...I just disqualify this poem....fair?
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Congradulations
Well Mr. Krick, you are an honorable winner in my contest. Congradulations. -
Congradulations.
Your poem has been chosen as a preliminary finalist and will recieve applause from me before I decide on the winners. Each poem also gets an additional comment that illustrates why it was chosen as a preliminary finalist.
The thing that almost killed this piece for me was the lack of any punctuation. It seriously interrupted the intended flow. What saved it, however, was the amazing content and perfect tone. The subject who is speaking shines through this piece as if it were clear glass. It illustrates it's subject through a brilliant blend of voice, metaphor, and scinerio to the point where the reader is face to face with him and eerily comfortable in his presence. There is a definite hint of stark realism as one is confronted with the manic-psychopath's sense of grandeur to the point that one is completely pulled in to his mindset.
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interesting.
It's different, I'll say that. Strange mixture of different cultural references. not bad. thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest. -
Nice write Good luck with it in the contest >.<
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I do enjoy this sir!
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Not really my cup of tea, sorry.
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Dark and angry...but powerfully written. Good write.
Ken
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ooohh wow! great write, really intriguing, great job and goo luck in the contests
take care
stephanie =) -
I personally loved this peice. I don't know what it was, but the tone and voice just drew me in. BRAVO!
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