A bouquet of fresh decapitations
blossoms of bifurcated necks,
~ grotesque floral arrangement of carnage ~
spinal cords lick the bottom of the vase
restoring order to random chaos;
surviving the remainder of a shortened life
wherever society sets them to wilt.
Author notes
40 Words
Prompt:
'They slit our throats
Like we were flowers'
-MM-
.... we are all uprooted, eventually, and placed neatly into society's vase.
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired. [40 words or Less] by Naridill.
450 points, ended March 24, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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wonderful
very creative and well done. Congrats on the honorable mention.
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'Defy the mundane'
Steady and calm - but the direct hit implied beautifully in metaphor.
Thanks for entering,
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Thanx for the HM... maybe I took the prompt to a level, or a place, that you weren't really expecting. I don't think I understood that quote very well, it seemed out of context for sure.
until immolation,
Grimoire
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Wow. Wow. WOW.
This is quite an amazing take on the prompt. The poem holds a certain intensity, such raw and descriptive beauty - a dark sort of grimacing beauty..
And you sir, are a master of these. Very well written piece, filled with so much depth to ponder. Excellent take on the prompt here! What a delectable bouquet of thought!
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THANK YOU
I always seem to have a dark, twisted, extraordinary interpretation of prompts, and quotes. I torture a new confession out of them, and judges don't seem to usually reward my interpretations. But thats cool with me, I am not the least bit concerned about trophies... and comments like yours make me feel just fine with sticking to current writing style...
until exhale,
Grimoire
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Wowzers!!
Wonderful take on the prompt and certainly stains the Mind with images~
and Love the notation You have expressed
The first line grabs~
starts the reader on their merry way
I Appreciate Your comment on my work
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Good, strong, confident write. Powerful philosophical point, and sociological observation. Vivid metaphor. I should not surprised to see this one win a vase itself!
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you ! I respect your opinion and am glad that you enjoyed my rather "different" take on the prompt.
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If I didn't apprecaite "different takes" my own contest entries would be up the creek. A long way up! So well done on the HM.
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I must say that the visual this brought is quite disturbing, yet due to author note I can understand where you were going with the comparison. Personally though I prefer to think that even though we all are eventually uprooted and replanted...we adapt...we adjust and become yet another bouquet [still beautiful-just different than what we used to be before] just like the new life that sprouts through volcanic ash <----was able to see that first hand on Mt. St. Helen's
respectfully,
reenie
. Rewarded 8
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Agreed
The prompt was what inspired the "disturbing visual"...as humans we "adapt" better than any other creature. I cannot imagine the almighty power of Mother Nature that must have been exposed during Mt. St. Helens... something that must be experienced to be appreciated I am quite certain.
as to the poem... I was trying to write more about the predictable, planned, preordained lives that people seem to just accept as inevitable... to their doom. I guess I am just an artist and cannot stand the thought of a mundane, meaningless existence... 9 to 5 for umpteen years, for what?
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This is brilliant. I really enjoyed reading through this, as dark as it was. You have done so well here on the prompt and wrote about something so very true. Wel done and all the best for the contest.
. Rewarded 4
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very strong imagery creates the sense of death and decay. A sense of deep injustice that the beauty of flowers should be defiled
. Rewarded 4
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Actually, the beauty of humanity is defiled. Preordained, preset, packaged lives that live predictable, planned lives... labeled and barcoded as just another number made of flesh and bone.
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yes, I did understand the metaphor
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