Emotions pause in maternal domain;
insane creations mimic destruction
shattering blue sky childhood ambitions,
peridition's patience dances decay.
Grip the innocence of fuzzy daydreams,
redeem in me your vanilla existence
as still photographs develop fusion,
seclusion seals the soul from living pain.
shut your eyes and let monsters go away,
pray for midnight or be ruined in the day.
A contest entry
- Poetry Challenge Round 2... Invite Only by elemental angel.
500 points, ended March 27, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell Me What You Think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
I believe poetry should be enjoyed for what it is and not analyzed to death! The mind and the heart flows with it's inner thoughts and feelings...as they are born upon the page a little piece of us is left behind
I enjoy you words very much!! Congrates on the silver my dear friend
-
Firstly, let me go backwards and say, the ending is absolutely wonderful. Second, as repetitive as this is probably going to sound, I commend your amazing imagery, especially like "blue sky childhood ambitions" and "still photographs develop fusion". The alliteration was a good touch as well. :3
-
I really like the rhyming couplet at the end... it is just like a chant that a child would use to take their minds fro the monsters
I really like the imagery and the alliteration is wonderful! Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
Polly
-
I love this...it is like hanging on to the day...not wanting the clock to move forward in the title there...and all your imagery in the poem supports this well, the feeling & mood, photographs in the mind..not wanting to let go..a great read, Alice...
-
ok i made it back and am not drunk lol a good mixture i think of dark and light imagery here, flowing as ever with an alliterative beat.
-
A wonderful take on the prompt, great dark imagery and fantastic alliteration.
Bravo
-
excellent...felt turmoil and anxiety of anticipation...good dark images...loved "fuzzy daydreams"...."vanilla existence"...awesome, as always.
-
Reminding me... aye...
Nightmares as a child... monsters sitting on the foot of my bed.
Aye, true. I did shut my eyes with the hope the monsters would go away and wished it would not be dark but they were still there and I slept with a knife under my pillow. It was a dull butter knife. lol
oh well.
I grew up.
Melodies who loves your poetry.
-
ha i will be back later iggy
-
Beautiful verse. Such tender alliteration and wonderful phrasing. Well done. ~Pamela
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
