The figure emerging from the ground
Shrouding the mist without a sound
Creeping up from behind
Suprise on my face he wants to find
I turn to him with a vicious glare
And he knows he's no longer wanted there
He tries to get a second chance
He wants me to give him a second glance
I made my decision, and no matter how amiss
The hugs and the laughter, his smile I'll resist
And knowing he is no longer of worth
He slowly, but surely, seeps back in the earth.
Author notes
Okay this has nothing to do with me, just something I randomly thought of. I think I tried to make the story sort of that he killed himself knowing that it would be all she could think about so he came back expecting her to be so thrilled and happy that he was back. But she made her decision and decided to get over him. Did I do okay with that?
HOW DO YOU SPELL SUPRISE???
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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.......Excellent job!!!! This really packs a punch!! I have always tried to teach that death is final. There is no "Oh I will just show them, if I kill myself they will all be sad and sorry and then when I come back they will all love me".....We mourn our losses and then cut our ties that bind! You conveyed that very well....
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the flow was very good, great job!
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It flows really well. Nice rhymes, too, I'm always bad at rhymes. Mine always sound forced. Yours weren't at all! Very good, nice imagery and description.
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At first i didn't get it, but the description helped. hehe
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I like it! Very nice flow and imagery. Awesome job!
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