hand held patience... pride
bond's meld, in every stride,
swinging, my world, the too's; the through's,
sliding, downhill, away with our woe's,
playing in the park.
A contest entry
- (Prompt's up) Keep the ball rolling! by agilejill.
300 points, ended April 2, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wonderful description
I really enjoyed how you began with, "hand held patience... pride" because it can be with a two-year old needing help in a natural meaning, I can hear all the 'great job, you're getting better's'! So true in line #2 also that that's when you can feel it, talking and being in your child's life. And, it makes it stronger when your use of "meld" can be meant with both definitions, to announce and to blend. How cute -- "the too's; the through's," a powerful and quick way to explain the speech in what happened very excitingly with the day. The rhyme is oh so what a kid would want to hear! It appears from the quality of your writing, there were presented fun times. Love the title too... woah, isn't that a delightful grade/result of keeping on schedule with playing. Where the tiredness isn't bad but "growing pains" just needing to be kept up with.
Had a good time reading this, thank you for entering,
~agilejill~ -
very good take on the prompt with good alliteration...good luck in the contest u entered.
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hehehe - it is not all happy mome3nts with fresh roses, sometimes it is mental life 0 a good poem
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