My mind was absent,
Floating on clouded dreams,
But, in retrospect,
My feet remained rooted.
Somewhere,
between the Earth and Sky,
My body collided with a spirit
Of envious color.
Speaking in soft whispers,
It told me of a dream.
Inspiration struck me
Like a thousand moving trains,
Guiding me higher
To a bridge within the sky.
Between the spaces
of the sunset and it's rise,
I wrote of all those moments
That were ahead of me.
Author notes
I'm not sure if I should add anything to it or not!
In a list
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This was a very refreshing poem to read. The imagery and flow is excellent. What a beautiful dream this must have been to Bridges In The Sky. Thank you for sharing with me.
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
stavykm
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This was a very good piece- I liked your first stanza most of all, it was perfectly written. The last stanza was excellent too, great imagery. All the best,
KP
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9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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Commented on this one before you added it to the reading list here. Enjoyed reading it a second time.
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Very nice poem for the image...
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I don't think you should add anything because this is already really good.
I really like how you had this in the form of quartets, nice touch.
Really great poetry here.
~Cassie
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I don't think you should add anything it's great and so is the pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I really like this poem how it is, I don't think that anything needs to be added - but that is just my opinion... I really like the way you have crafted the imagery in this piece - especially the 'envious colour' which for some reason stuck out for me
thank you for sharing!
Keep writing
Polly -
It doesn't need anything added to it to make it complete, but the vibe I get from the poem is that it is the first part of a series of related pieces; although I don't know if that will be your intention. It is a serene piece, and you've well described being lost for a moment in a daydream.
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This reminds me of Ezekiel somehow. Or Daniel ... the handwriting on the wall. Very nice. I love the wording and see everything so clearly.
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I don't think anything needs to be added. I like what you said about the worlds being in the sky and a bridge to get to them.
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I'm sorry but the poem was supposed to have been entered between December of 07 and february of 08.. this one was posted in march.
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Sorry about that! I forgot when I had wrote it.
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I found this beautiful, peaceful, what more can I say.
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Wow it's beautiful
And so full of inspiration~
loved the second stanza.
The picture's a nice one too!
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very intriguing piece, has allot of depth and inner tranquility to it
very good write -
I can tell yo ulet your creativity flow on this one. I had a movie running through my head reading this piece.
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wow fantastic inspiration struck me like a thousand moving trains guiding me higher to a bridge with in the sky between the spaces of the sunset and its rise i wrote of all those moments that were ahead of me thankyou for sharing this with the group i loved it
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I think it's beautiful, just the way it is. I don't see where you need to expand upon it. But that's just my humble opinion.
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Great imagery and a good take on where inspiration comes from.
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This was an interesting contest, liked your title and the picture you chose for this poem. Good flow and strong message shared in these lines.
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I liked the snippet of "spirit of envious color" as well as the inspiration/1000k trains one. Good stuff.
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this is quite inspirational in itself as well.
and the last four lines...wow. blew me pretty far away.
amazing job
♥
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