If I forget you, I won't go insane,
you can't live rent free inside my brain.
You can talk to me forever
quoting line after line,
I can refuse to listen,
walk away and still feel fine.
You never wanted me to grow into a man.
you never taught me to say the words, "I can".
So now I leave you here
alone and on your own,
I refuse to take the bullshit,
and listen to you moan.
So if you end up hating me, well that's just fine,
It's what I want you to do, take this as a sign.
I turn my back and walk away
as you scream at me, "Please don't go".
I do not need your help on this,
you should have let me grow.
Internal struggles playing games inside my mind
I will look elsewhere, dear mum, to see what I will find.
Disown me now, please let me go,
I can not do this for you.
forget this child, leave my sight
you know you never did for me, what was right""
Author notes
Second time I have written on this song...Hate Me, Blue October...It is a personal fav.
Hope I did it justice this time as last time I never heard it before...
A contest entry
- Blue October by grace elizabeth.
450 points, ended March 31, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whatever you like...
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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a good write, personal, true and something (cant put my finger on it)
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Woah!!!!!! This is deep and amazing!! As I was reading, I was hoping I would not find out that is was based on your personal experience. But I see that it is based on a song that I can not recall if I have ever heard or not.
This is great! I love it!!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nevermore~
Me
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this is a powerful write and with each one i read yu get better and better i prefer your writes to mine now. it is amazing bro well done
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... I love the line "you n ever taught me to say the words, "I can"... that is powerful in itself.
"as you scream at me, "dont go" I think you should add please... so it reads "please dont go" I think that is more dramatic.
the last two lines, you use the word "forget" twice.. I think you should rethink those two lines... end with something powerful.
"forget this child, leave my sight
you know you never did for me, what was right"
I dont know.. haha! Something like that maybe?
Nicely done. Much better the second time around!! =)
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amazing
great write. the poem flowed so naturally.
"you can't live rent free inside my brain."
I love that line.
I love the way you wrote from that song.
In your autors notes you said I never heard it before".
have you never heard the song? or I'm I just confused.
anyway here's a link to the song and lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G84XdE7sHOU
this poem is meaningful to me.
Good Luck
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