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Vanity




Empty praise,
poisonous apples
gathered in a basket,
set out on the
ancient wooden table.

Black talons tap
a personal Morse code
of jealousy,
waiting for someone
to take the venomous bait.


Author notes

I didn't use any of the personal or possessive pronouns you listed though I did use the indefinite pronoun "someone". Hope this is okay.

A contest entry

All comments are appreciated!

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Swan song gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    Now this is intense I love this contest and I think you will do well.Wow Shut my mouth and slap me silly this was good stuff!!!!!!!


  • Mirthryl
    March 24, 2008

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    Highly descriptive "Black talons tap a personal Morse code of jealousy." Nicely done, with the many restrictions of the contest.


  • tony yates silver member
    March 22, 2008
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    brilliant

    so deep and superb, well done


  • Scion
    March 21, 2008

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    Wonderful work with the prompt. I thought you did an astounding job by following the rules perfectly and still being able to create a great story out of your poem. The one thing I wanted to see was a period at the end of that first stanza; my personal taste, yes; but it's your poem so do what pleases you.
    "Black talons tap a personal Morse code..." Great lines right there. The reader is able to sink their appreciative teeth into this and receive a colorful bruise. Brilliant. Cheers.


  • Metaphorist
    March 21, 2008

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    Yes, that one is fine. I was just asking to exclude the ones listed there. Hard enough I think. I loved this. What a vivid image. Thanks for entering and good luck!

  • carole21
    March 21, 2008

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    sad

    sad write for the prompt . . liked "Empty praise" and "waiting for someone to take the venomous bait" . . good luck in the contest . .

1 - 6 of 6