Malevolent manifestation that mocks ~
midnight melee of misery and madness
morose and melancholy mood,
black shrouded mirroring mass
more than merely reflecting
the light of a callous Sun-
morbidly full immortal Moon
pasted against the darkness
with starlit minions mingled,
a deranged domain of lunacy dwells...
to marry malice and betrayal;
a howling honeymoon of vengeance
runs rabid to hunt a heart lost,
& devour false love forever.
Author notes
Prompt: Duality of life itself; the many shades we project.
.... and wolves.
A contest entry
- Sweet Evil by PerfectImperfection.
675 points, ended March 31, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
damn good word choices!
midnight melee of misery and madness
Love that line.
-
Having won gold already, anything I might add seems less than relevant. However I will add my own spin on the piece. My favorite part is the honeymoon of vengence actually worded as the hunter and devourer of false love. After all 'honeymoon's' origin is that it is the sweetest cycle of the moon in one's life. This is a great twist on an old wordplay as 'honeymoon' itself is wordplay alone. Congrats on winning the contest and I have enjoyed being slapped with your words a couple of times now. RC
-
I like the way you call upon Dark powers to devour one who love was a mockery
Joe
-
-
Indeed. Sometimes we deny that our love could ever be betrayed, or that it was all just a mockery. Until we see the proof and the veil is suddenly lifted.
-
-
This is a wonderful definition to that duality which begs to breed within us... Enlightenment found upon a whispering sigh. Very well penned!
"morose and melancholy mood,
black shrouded mirroring mass
more than merely reflecting
the light of a callous Sun-"
Love those lines... And such an incredible ending. Thank you so much for the entry!
-
-
Of course, for you. We are all seemingly either predator or prey in this battlezone of hearts... sometimes we know not which we are, yet once we decide to no longer be the prey of false thin smiles and hollow "I love you's", then closure comes readily, easily, rapidly.
until exhale,
Grimoire
-
-
Excellent Write I love the use of alliteration in a poem
Good luck with this in the contest. Thanks for your comment
-
blacktastic transient wave...
the juxtaposing title caught my eye and stuck a needle in it without a flinch. you stir a dark stew, my friend, but one with complete and forboding alliteration on a ten vent choir wire. the starlit minions line was one I liked best. now, back to my eye patch... ~ EZB
www.moodgroove.com
-
mmmmm-mmmmm good. Plenty of alliteration, almost could overpower but you break it up nicely and prevent that from happening. I love good, dark poetry - so kudos to you!
-
smooth read
All the M's having a party here. Nice expression and as has already been said, it takes you for a ride because it flows so smoothley. nice
-
The words wrap around,
not letting the reader escape,
hypnotically moving from line to line,
seeking the light within the darkness.
Again, masterful!
Aesthete
-
Wonderfully dark. lots of "M" to roll off the tongue smoothly. Lovely stick to the prompt blending of light with the dark.
-
Great alliteration and rich use of vocabulary really adds a lot of power and impact to this piece. Excellent!
-
This is such a great write. I loved the word choice and alliteration throughout the whole poem and the imagery is wonderful to read. Well done and all the best for the contest.
-
awesome!! very good take on the prompt.. very well written loved the imagery and the almost texture of your piece.. thanx for sharing..
god bless you..
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
