One more day passes.
One more tears falls.
I walk to all my classes,
as if I´m not screaming behind this wall.
As if I´m not crying on the inside.
As if everything is okay.
One more bloody slash to hide.
One more tear falls today.
One more blood stain sheet.
To bleach and clean.
I try, but I´m always conquered by defeat.
I´ve never felt like it, but I don´t think I can stay.
I think I need to be alone,
and some how just get away.
I just wish I could be someone unknown.
I´m tired of being that girl, who everyone must know.
I´d rather be that girl who simply left with less that a groan.
I´d rather be that dead girl who decided it was her time to go.
Author notes
Mad emo heartattack
2) Suicide, depression, cutting... all that dark stuff. Make me feel it.
7) write about despair and grief. Cutting? Death of a loved one? overwhelming angst and hopelessness? go for it.
A contest entry
- Enter your last posted poem by whispernthedark.
425 points, ended March 22, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOOKING FOR NEW FAVORITES!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
600 points, ended March 25, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Muses for the masses (options galore) by Goldfist.
500 points, ended March 28, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me how bad i write^^
Comments
-
hmm..
Tis piece could use stanzas, bit I guess it's alright as just one big block. Dunno what else to point out other than your authors notes made me chuckel. Mad Emo Heartattack indeed. Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest. -
LOL> Not that bad!
There were some spelling and grammar issues.
My main problem is that the bright blue font is hard to read and hurts my eyes (oh my god, am I getting old? LOL).
Line 2: "tears falls" - should be "tear falls"
Lines 4 & 5: please capitalize the "i"s in "i'm"
Line 9: try "blood-stained sheet"
On to the content:
This frightens me a little because it is quite openly (rather bluntly) suicidal. I should know because when I am actually considering suicide, I begin to write it out.
Is everything all right? If you need to talk, I am here. Believe me, there's nothing you could say that would shock or offend me, and I am very understanding.
Great job captivating us and making us feel your anguish.
Thank you for entering. Please don't hesitate to send me a message if you want to talk. -
I think you captured the isolation and despair well. Great write, best of luck in the contest. Thank you for entering.
♥
whisper
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