The virgin pleaded
to have herself offered up,
to Gods of lust as seen in spring
whimpered in ear, panting for release
from the bondage of burdensome emptiness;
noble carriage saw beyond for longer views
and mirrors have thanked him ever since
now honesty smiles in reflection and memory.
The spent penny
lay near the curb, drawing rain
growing green corrosion,
once picked up, in theory
to aid a fellow foundling;
a power of discarded coppers.
Fortune followed hard, came to bring
a virginal heart, cloaked in clouds.
Doubts yielded to hourglass sands,
and resistance folded into sunset,
for seasons change;
and Autumn is a time to sow seeds
and reap sweet ripe fruit.
In a list
A contest entry
- anything. by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended March 21, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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You did some really amazing things here.
The progress of seasons along with the sands of time was done nicely and though it they are both common images were used uniquely here. I like the allusion to the old adage "find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck" and how you spoke of fortune coming hard, and seemingly in an unexpected manner.
At first the virgin/offering image seemed so strangely juxtaposed with the image of the found penny. But you so cleverly brought them both together ...
"Fortune followed hard, came to bring
a virginal heart, cloaked in clouds."
The change in the ending is stark, drastic almost, but as the result of time running out. I loved the way you depicted the reaction to the effects of the hourglass. I'm not sure about the practicality of sowing seeds in autumn,
but I hear what you're trying to say!
This one was really cool for me. It bore you characteristic easy, unobtrusive style, but also threw in some peculiarities that I thoroughly enjoyed!
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the idea was that men harvest in Autumn, nature sows seeds of spring; fruiting in autumn yelds spring growth in many things as ripe fruit/seeds fall to the ground... a little odd way of seeing, i guess...PK
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Doubts yielded to hourglass sands - what an amazing image that put in my mind. This piece is so creative and a real showcase of your talent. I am so pleased again, to find gold on your work. So deserving of this and much much more. Wonderful. Just a pleasure to read your poetry and fall into it.
~Pamela 
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Congratulations!! I loved this Pk.
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Astonishing, the use of the penny was so creative, congratulations on the gold trophy!
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Really nicely done PK, I love the flow here!
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thank you Melissa-
I see the little fellows are not so little anymore!
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LOL, that they aren't - I swear my 7 year olds feet are as big as mine!!
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My favorite so far...
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What can I say that I haven't said before? It was a beauty.. Great write.
Peace to you, Jetleena
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