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Remembering Richard

I knew Richard Corey since we were schooled
in history and latin while at Gould;
he always seemed to have a certain luster,
even through that mess down in Augusta.

'Course back in school as captain of the team
he always did alright and never took the blame
for losses which the next game can't redeem
or a dozen factory deaths.

                                  It's such a shame.

Author notes

I'm givin to understand the rhymes will work up there...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • just mercedes gold member
    February 28
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I think that worked! Congratulations on the trophy.


  • KayJay
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the Gold. Well deserved.
    Ken


  • MariGoes gold member
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Gold to breeze. Deserved, yes!!!

  • MariGoes gold member
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the rhymes you used on stanza 1 best
    I haven't heard about that poem and author till I saw Mayne's contest.
    I have to agree, you re-created the poem so very well using only few lines.
    Your pen continues to produce fine work Brian.

    Mari


  • Levon
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the wonderful comment you left on my poem kindest one, here you have raised the bar with this excellent rhyme and story. Especially enjoyed the 'luster/Augusta' accent! Well done enjoyable poetry.

  • Yemassee silver member
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ayuh, them rhymes'll work just fine up here. Every Mainer agrees that lustuh certainly rhymes with Augustuh.

    Great! You look at the character of the man...and that what happened later in his life was foreshadowed by those school days...after-all that is what school is...to learn...but in this case he learned not to take responsibility (and being a fellow with that "luster," he was likely coddled by teachers and school mates)...which led to the eventual guilt when his factory had a tragedy.

    In this manner it seems to be not only a poem influenced by Robinson but by Simon and Garfunkel's song also.

    I like the contrast...the game with the deaths (which shows as I mentioned before his character flaw.)

    I'd have never thought anyone could put so much in so few lines.

    Four entries, four exceptional poems, it's summing up to be the best contest I've ever been involved in.
    Thanks Brian, it was a pleasure to read.


    • windhover3 gold member
      March 21, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Yem. I always found the rich-poor dynamic in Robinson's poem to be a bit pregnant with social criticism as much as carpe diem sentiment. I'm fond of Robinson, though I haven't read him in a while. Thanks for the chance to start getting re-acquainted.
1 - 7 of 7