why do troubles come in groups,
but sometimes the little things are the best,
why are some people so good at everything,
and some people just don’t get anything,
why do we have to wait for the great things in life,
is it the reward for waiting that’s so good,
why do some work so hard and get nowhere,
others slack off and go far,
why do old people yell at you for being loud,
but can’t hear,
How can people be so far apart,
and yet so close to each other,
how can you help others,
but can’t help yourself
A contest entry
- Prewrite Craze Contest by BlackSwan.
550 points, ended June 29, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just listen. by birdlove.
300 points, ended June 22, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just a Question..(Now accepting prewrites! Read all description please!) by xPink-Lotusx.
525 points, ended August 31, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - show me what you've got by raymondsgirl8708.
875 points, ended October 5, 2008, 28 entries
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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hehe i like this line
why do old people yell at you for being loud,
but can’t hear,
reminds me of my pop -
interesting and thought prevocking. thank you for entering
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Seemed slightly choppy here and there..but not all that bad. The commas after every single line seemed a bit excessive and un-needed. But still a lovely poem!
Warmest,
Mylee -
Hmmm you point out some interesting questions.
nice write!
-GL in contest -
Firstly, I was a bit put off by all punctuation in the title.
Secondly, with a comma at the end of every line, it's a bit hard to read. I don't understand how the first 2 lines fit together. They don't seem at all related.
All in all, this seems like a list of questions without much poetry to it. Try adding metaphors/similes to your work and maybe work on your line breaks.
Thirdly, anything I've said was said in the spirit of helpfulness. I wish people would be more honest and helpful with me, too. It helps us learn.
Thanks for entering. -
Some pretty important questions that people have wondered about, maybe always. These are the unanswerable questions of the ages and people just keep right on asking them. Boy, do I know those people who are good at everything! Or it seems that way.
jjj
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I love the material in this, but overall it wasn't put together very well. When reading, one can obviously feel the angst. That's the only reason why I'm going to rate this so high.
An 8. -
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umm...ya..thast kinda the idea...i was kinda pissed at the time.. and i had some of the problems my buddy had floating around in my head ...and well the old people part..soo true and so funny XD
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These are some great questions! It was a nice poem all together to. It shows some good emotion! I love where it says why do some work so hard and get nowhere//other slack off and go far! eXcElLeNt! nice workd write some more so I can read. Lol.
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hey
this is a poem worth bro-ing down to :-P
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