As the ship goes with the tide
you go with my breath
I ignore all the warnings
I laugh at mists of death
I rise with the clouds
I dissipate into air
Billowing above
As all stop and stare
Oh how I wish to travel
To wherever you go
I long to escape
With the smoke clouds I blow
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Smoking is dangerous to your health and I do not understand why those who continue are not concerned. I see those attached to oxygen tanks who still want to smoke, even thought the shouldn't and are dying a slow death. TIme to quit I hope for you too.
-
9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
-
This is a really interesting poem... I like the different ways which it could be interpreted... the ending was my favorite part, I like the message of this poem - it seems that no matter who we are or where we come from, everyone is looking for their own kind of escape
brilliant
Keep writing
Polly
-
This has a wistful and a rather foreboding feel about it, especially within the last lines. The direction the speaker is headed at the end of the poem could go a couple of different ways, either to let go and move on, or to let go and die. I may have completely missed the point, but that's the impression I got. It communicates the emotions very, very well indeed.
-
Ooo, very simple and sweet but its very powerful! The easy-going rhyme really makes it seem whimsical like clouds are.
Thank you for sharing this with the group.
animated
-
Awww, this is so sweet. I would want to go where my beloved was if I had a beloved. Best of luck to you in your future writing endeavors.
-
This is about a smoking addiction and you paint a haunting picture with words.
-
-
its only an addiction if you want to stop
-
-
Strange and scary write, Smoking can damage your health, don't ignore the warnings, the last breaths are ugly. I have watched it. MY Clouds?
-
-
i appreciate you stating the obvious about smoking damaging our health lol, j/k
but i feel u may have missed the point of the poem. I know of the health risks. I have become a 2nd class citizen because of my smoking, but the inner meaning of the poem is...escape. weather its escape from the trials of the day with a relaxing smoke, an escape from work by taking a smoke break, or the inevitable escape from a horrid world. I much rather die of something i know of. I rather die a bit earlier from the smoke i love, then live in spite of all the things i hate.
no offense intended, but this is a very important topic to me
-
-
Mind blowing~
Short but marvellously written
I like the title and the contents even more so
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
