A brigade of sympathies mix with the tide
Growing into a mass of apologetic faces
as the waves crash into the shore of my veins
Sinking into the sand of my consciousness
The filth and debris of their tragicly defiled hearts
Entombs itself into my cerebrum
Promises for hope spread across the horizon
Casting shadows over the pleading looks of the choir
Preached to and drowned in hypocrisy
The ocean of distorted messages and scriptures sprays salt
Into the open wounds of my beaten sub-concious
Top secret files and confidentials sprawled on their front page
Pray for the weakened is the cry of the body
Alerting all of the blood being spilled in Christs name
The sliver of honesty stripped from the few remaining sunsets
contorting interpretations and commandments into gravel
Forcing the velvet sand into a graveyard of clenched aspirations
Devine guidance spewed from the vile filled mouth of embodied ignorance
Digging trenches around the followers until and island forms
Isolating the living from the holy
The creatures that drown in a sea of lifeless faces gasp for oxygen
As the lifeless existence of their lives is uncovered
Displayed for the crippled masses to view from their rotting pews
The blessed virgin placed on a pedestal
Surrounded by the tormented deities of histories condemnations
I lay weightless, consumed by the gravel coated backdrop of the sanctuary
What sins am I to pay for I ask the father
Mixed with the crash of the unforgiving waves of his followers
Comes the reply of the holy figurehead
You can only pay for the sins of your brothers life
And the calming sea draws back with the tide
Erasing the sandy bottom from my bodies decaying flesh
As I am washed away into the mass of blood tarnished scriptures
Praise to the highest of all
The last drop of innocent blood has been spilled
Author notes
I've got to go to curch in a few hours, it was on my mind. You can interpret this however you'd like. I wrote with one angle in mind but the first comment revealed another way to look at it, so please, believe what you want of it.
A contest entry
- Without the words by Envelope.
4200 points, ended April 3, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, explain what you thought, no vagueness alowed.
Comments
-
wow, this was deep and very moving, a lot to think about in this piece, I liked how it was complex, as if it was a struggle. This was amazing!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
-
oooooooooohhhhhh "A brigade of sympathies mix with the tide growing into a mass of opologetic faces as the waves crash into the shore of my veins" nice damn this whole peice is nice the filth and debris of their tragicly defiled hearts. pray for the weakend is the cry of the body nice work dude this peice is great i am never seen anything like this nice work please keep up the great work i love this is like my cry of a sinner its real and you can feel the peice you made this come alive damn this is deep
-
ahh well since I can't be vagued I'll be honest. I wasn't impressed, alot of the writing seemed jumbled, or rushed. No real "HOLY CRAPS" In here for me. I will say that it was a very good and original view point to use though, and at points i was glad to see the never ending crescendo calm to a sea side thought, the vivaciousness of this peice was relentless and really made one think about christs true feelings about his fate. Isn't it natural to humanize even god?
-
Interesting. Beautiful, as always. But what an incredibly complicated and intricate way to explain the crucifixion of Christ. I liked that you used it as if you were the person. (I think.) I took a look at the contest that you entered this for, and it made me love it even more. A contest about love. =) Yes, that is the ultimate love, isnt it? Absolutely beautiful, mon cher. =)
Adding your comment:
