bones slip
from steering wheel,
head caressed hardly--
drunken exhaust heads
toward brakes.
Author notes
Was originally written for a prompt, but I missed it, and so I thought it would work here. This is real life inspiration, please don't think it was made up.
A contest entry
- crash by hilly.
300 points, ended March 26, 2008, 2 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Something about "caressed hardly" is strange to me. It just reads very awkwardly, doesn't really fit together.
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You don't get the feeling of impact?
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not really, but to each their own
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