Sometimes, on summer evenings,
under diamond-studded skies
I reminisce of childhood nights
spent chasing fireflies...
Sometimes, on summer afternoons,
I find my mind beguiled
by thoughts of dandelion days,
when I was just a child.
Sometimes, on summer mornings,
when the ground is wet with dew,
I recall the joys of days gone by,
when everything was new.
Then life was bright blue butterflies;
a lacy daisy chain
of days spent lying in the grass,
and dancing in the rain.
But childhood passes quickly,
just a twinkling of an eye...
and all that's left is reverie
of carefree days gone by.
So now, on summer evenings,
there's a need I can't disguise.
I want to be that child again...
chasing fireflies.
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 1 Summertime - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
8000 points, ended May 16, 52 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - * SUMMERTIME* by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended June 15, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is so deserving of the golden cup in this contest. Your words could very well be about my own childhood. Thanks for taking me back to those carefree days....
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I like this very much it is so realistic. and you have written it so well. and so many memories. I realy liked it all but I felt the last lines realy brought this to a perfect end.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
It's so natural to write about these things in ballad metre, or heptameter or septameter, which ever you like. the boyancy of the lines just seems to naturally suit our visions of childhood. I see what you mean about the metre, but i like it anyway.
The only obvious abberrations i found were in lines 4 and 17, line 4 has an extra beat because "spent" carries a stress, while line 17 is lacking one beat, although, depending on how you read it you could take the comma to represent one, but that would be down to the reader to choose because it's not naturally there.
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I love this as much as your sonnet, maybe for me this just has the slight edge as I think we all have that longing to re-live our childhood again and you have expressed that beautifully.
Thanks for sharing this with us...Sue
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I get to comment again on an old favourite, Rather loosely in ballad measure, a wonderfully beguiling read, just right to read in an evening over a very satisfying glass of wine.
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Another corking poem, A real delight to read. I n a loose form that I love. Definitely qualifies for my "unformed rhyme section"
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