Living in a piece of art.
The sky is the backdrop as we are the subject.
Choices laid out in front of you.
Choose wisely for it will change this artwork we call life.
Birds fly over head, plants swaying in the breeze.
What you see is not all there is to see.
The gentle movement of waves.
The deep color of the night.
Leaves falling to the ground
the wind picks up in speed.
Lying in the still warm grass.
The master piece we call life.
Not a care in the world.
She loves him and he her.
They will live add more to the piece
Children playing
Fountains spray.
What we choose will change this piece.
The masterpiece we call life.
Author notes
I don't know where this came from but I think it turned out well. I hope
A contest entry
- Whatever you want by Krick.
500 points, ended March 22, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - quicky! anything goes! as always i want your best! by urapns66.
375 points, ended April 2, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Peer Pressure (Vote) - 3 (last, if nobody shows interest) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended April 2, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me All You've Got (Winner Takes All) by hey charlie.
300 points, ended May 3, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost anything goes! by EmeraldDaze.
425 points, ended June 8, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A lil somethin somethin(Please read updates if you havent! Sorry for any inconveneces) by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
315 points, ended June 6, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get The Gold for a pre-write by piccola.
300 points, ended June 3, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
constructive critizism welcome
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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masterpiece ... or master piece? (L12) really nice subject and unique I think...I am fond of poetry with line breaks though. I think a division here and there adds strength to a poem. Thank you for your entry.
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It was really good. I enjoyed reading it. It was pretty. Life is a masterpeice. Good luck on my contest!
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I really thought this was good. There were quite a few rough spots but you really managed to portray the beauty of life. Good job and thank you for entering.
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awesome, i love the last few lines! "She loves him and he her. They will live add more to the piece Children playing Fountains spray. What we choose will change this piece. The masterpiece we call life." it's simply awesome!
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I like the idea laid out in this poem. The beginning and ending really caught my attention. I love these lines:
Choices laid out in front of you.
Choose wisely for it will change this artwork we call life.
Good luck in the contest! -
What beautiful imagery...
This was beautiful.
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i had to read this poem twice to appreciate its true beauty..but it is a great piece!beautiful imagery!
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Brilliant write. You have a great way of bringing amazing imagery into your words. Good luck.
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I really love the deep imagery of this poem. It has a resonance that made its presence fealt to the reader. I could almost feel the "warm grass" and see the "deep color of the night". It was powerfull in its simplistic form and it did farm more than I could have. I like the piece. Great job and good luck in the contest.
Hugs and Kisses,
Tiphanie -
Great write, I really loved a few of the lines, especially "The deep color of the night.", i read that one a few times. I never heard it described like that before but it's very beautiful. good luck with the contest.
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Excellent write I like the imagery here Good luck with this in the contest I hope you get lots of votes.
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Nicely penned. Loved the theme, held some lovely imagery. All the best in the contest with it
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Hmmm... Overall, it had its moments, but there were also times that I thought it lacked passion. Oh, and in line 12, it should be 'masterpiece'... Overall, though, a neat idea, and I think it did turn out very well. You write with a maturity that is beyond your 13 years... Very well done, and good luck!
Laura xxx -
I liked this write, although I do feel that it read a little choppy.... that may just be me though. I like this. Keep wup the great job. Nicely penned
dani
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