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Facing Facts

No intentions for transformation,
dissolved positive expectations,
destroyed assuring promises,
annihilated admiration,
waste upon my heart weighs deep,
assuring oaths were not to keep,
fooled me once, deceit was tripled,
concluding now that talk is cheap,
break my pride a thousand ways,
never ceased, your side, I'd stay,
realization's so hard to face,
I know now you'll never change.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • luckynsincere
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job.... short sweet and simple. Most of the poems I have come to "remember" and grow fond of are the short powerful ones.

    I agree with my sweetest judge bear about the line breaks, but other than that it is wonderfully penned. I look forward to reading more of you through this challenge.


    at the close of this contest, there will be a link to a group. You are required to join the group in order to continue in the challenge.

    Sincerely,
    Mel


  • Blueskywonder
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A sad and emotional piece of poetry. Everyone can change, we just need the right motivation

    I can relate to this piece. Great powm!


  • Arkbear gold member
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hi there :)

    Welcome to the Poetic Challenge contest ~

     

    My name is Bear, and we are glad you took the time to enter :)

     

    The first thing I will hit your entry on....is line-break and punctuation ~

     

    You have penned some nice lines, but without a pause in there somewhere, I am not able to stop and absorb most of all your thoughts......unless I stop on purpose ~

     

    Your thoughts are vivid, yet lacking the Power I will be looking for in the Challenge ~

     

    Melanie and I will judge your work based on certain criteria given for each Round....and most of the time we are fairly in sync with one anothers opinions.....and sometimes not :)

     

    I, enjoy Power, Impact, Lasting Impression and Focus on Themes.........she on the other hand......well, you'll just have to keep entering to see :)

     

    I found your work inviting....but stimulation is what I am going to be looking for ~

     

    I see lots of talent in your quill....now it's time to spill ink that is going to blow me out of the water!

     

    If my jaw does not hit the floor....then your score will not be as high :)

     

    I hope you take this Challenge....I would like to see where your quill can take me,

     

    good luck to you,

     

    Bear ~