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A Dove Freed in Eternal Dive

I looked into my heart to write,
to find some solace in soul's flight;
to gain from dark its golden thread:
remember me when I am dead.

Let laughter spill my soul to life,
a dove freed in eternal dive;
in memories of words unsaid:
remember me when I am dead.

Remember me when I am dead,
and gain from dark its golden thread;
find solace in soul's endless flight:
and look into your heart ... to write.


Author notes

Keith Douglas: Simplify Me (Remember me when I am dead)
George Barker: Summer Song (I looked into my heart to write)

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • tara wilson gold member
    March 20, 2008

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    oh - I love the line you chose to start your poem with...and where it lead you to go...so lovely this is...and you will be remembered through your beautiful words in poetry....


  • CaliOkie silver member
    March 20, 2008

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    Stunningly soul filled this one must be whispered breathlessly in hushed, dark places. It glows in the dark like golden light defined around shadows cast by some candles' flame. The heart here pulled is stretched almost to the breaking point and then some. At the end my rent spirit collapses and puddles in the shadows.

    This is truly beautiful. I am in awe. If this is the end result, we should all make a point of taking a dismissive tone with you more often. LOL.

    Outstanding. Thank you. CaliOkie.


  • PerVirtuous
    March 20, 2008
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    Beautiful, and what a heart it is! There is room in it for everyone, and that says everything.


  • rite
    March 20, 2008

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    Your immaculate soul reflects the fact that man is a magical being. Many centuries of harsh and structured suppression has made him forget his origin, but the origin is more powerful than the forces that attempt to destroy it. Ponderings of the nature you submitted to this page always make me think of a writing on a wall in Dublin I once saw, saying Is there life before death?. I am certain the implications of such you understand better than anyone else. Thank you precious soul for creating and sharing and the best of luck in the contest. Ack,


  • Keith
    March 20, 2008

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    I can see that this contest is going to be very hard to judge, but I'm very happy that it's produced so much interest, and such a variety of responses. I like what you've done with these lines very much. Thank you for entering.


  • MargaretG
    March 20, 2008

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    I like the way you have reworked these lines, you have found the depth of them in yourself, and pulled it out into the light. With each stanza you do not just repeat, you put the line in a new context. I enjoyed this very much.

1 - 6 of 6