The silent scream
that I do not hear,
is surrounding me
as I turn and claw
at the rope that isn't there.
Hair streaming in front of my eyes,
oh please hide my vision,
blind me,
for I don't want to see what comes.
Heart beating faster,
as time seems to slow
for the imminent threat
that lies beneath me.
No air to breathe,
no time to think,
no where to turn,
as i cry myself to sleep.
Author notes
This is for the people who have no one to turn to, who are struggling within and hide their fears and sorrows. They feel as though they are falling to destruction and death, which is what i tried to portray here.
Panic At The Disco x Taking Back Sunday
Option1:
Scare me. Make me cry. Can you answer this question: Can you make me feel like dying inside ?
A contest entry
- The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1668 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want dark, I want pain, infect me! by Meroza.
600 points, ended August 13, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do You Have What It Takes ? by just weak hands.
800 points, ended December 12, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Falling (Picture Prompt) by LovelyTraces.
2500 points, ended February 4, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? How can I improve? What was your least favorite part? Your favorite?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow. This is really great. I'm really happy with this, and it's amazing that it's a prewrite and it fits perfectly.
My favorite part was:
"Heart beating faster,
as time seems to slow"
Great job, and good luck! -
i'm just reviewing all my entrants :] can you please put Taking Back Sunday x Panic At The Disco in your AN ? It was a requirement ! I would hate to have to DQ you D:
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right, I have the Panic at the Disco thing in there now.
I know I won't win, but thanks for caring.
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oh,don't say that :] you always have a chance
thanks for reviewing :] -
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Yeah well, just looking at the last comment you wrote about it, i don't think so. Thanks!
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ah, but still, you never know The others could bomb
You might still get an honorable mention !
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Thanks, but let the people who had the better poems win. Not me because we're friends. I understand.
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ah very interesting :] i have to be honest, though. it doesn't really scare me. it's not exactly what i was looking for. maybe if it was extended and the story explained, it would strike a little more fear into me. but still, it is a nice poem.
thanks for entering and best of luck !
[by the way, put Taking Back Sunday x Panic At The Disco in your AN. Also, i didn't mean for prewrites to be allowed... i may need you and other entrants to enter a fresh poem since i did NOT want prewrites...] -
great way of painting failure... great job!
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Welll.......
Interesting poem. Both falling physically and metaphorically. I thought this was a fairly well penned poem, nothing spectacular about it, but definately above the mediocre.
Thanks for entering my contest! -
I am very pleased with this poem. It felt like it had accually happened to you. My favourite part was the second stanza. I felt like I was having this happen to me. You are a verry skilled writer. Good luck in the contest!
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This is a very nicely penned poem. I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest. I'm in it as well. There are so many very well penned writes. Its amazing to me the talent on this site.
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Please enter (1) your name in the authors box, and (2) which option you used.
Thank You!
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