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Unmuffled

I found her once,

plucked from tender stem
as bud,
and pressed between pages
(with gentleness)
against fluid lines of adoring promise,
where words were heard

but could not touch her--

though she lay
with them.

I noticed
how she took a breath
each time the breeze
would loosen page
to creep through placid petals
(held in soft suppression)

awakening them to virgin utterance
and bloom,

and decided
I should lift her out
each time courage would allow
invigoration,

so she could sound herself
more than just

in part.








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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • AsIThink gold member
    January 15

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    Excellent! (I wonder how this didn't get gold). I am not very keen on form or poetic understanding but this was marvelously hopeful. What a magnificent display and flow of ideas and keen imagery. This had an amazing slendor to it I think:

    "I noticed
    how she took a breath
    each time the breeze
    would loosen page
    to creep through placid petals
    (held in soft suppression)"

    Such glowing ability here.

    AsIThink...


  • Everwind Rising
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes! She is in full bloom and yet blossoming still. Many have breathed in her fragrance and are gladdened!


  • Dalaney gold member
    March 25, 2008

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    one of the best I've read this morning...Truly. Congrats on your bronze, although I feel this deserves Gold Gold Gold Love, Lane

  • Virgoan
    March 25, 2008

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    Exquisite and excellent. From awakening to end makes me feel so much from this piece. Another exceptional piece from you.

    Keep writing

    HENSLEY


  • Mallig gold member
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very beautiful, I liked the personification and imagery of the flower, being pressed, taking a breath, being lifted out. Excellent, congratulations on the bronze!

  • piccola silver member
    March 21, 2008

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    this was so gentle as to be almose ephemeral. I love it. I read it again and again just for pleasure. thank you so much for the entry.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    March 19, 2008
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  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    March 19, 2008

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    This was beautiful and merited several readings to extract the true measure of meaning. You have a lyrical voice and a gentle way with language. Your poetry always makes me sigh with pleasure. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz

1 - 9 of 9