there is nothing between us
and yet there is everything
as I hide emotion behind lace veneers
where a mother's tears can flow unbidden
and sadness can curl on smiling lips-
to utter tomorrow's dreams
while never truly believing
in any of them
for loneliness has settled in my palm
where once your little hand rested
so innocently
and your shadow curved within mine
with a sense of belonging
as if there could never be
any separation
but now light has left spaces
crawling between us
where eyes are drawn to the emptiness
with forced acceptance
and goodbyes are words I say
with gasping breath
forced from screaming recesses
as I linger solemnly at windows
watching shadows disappear
praying that once more
yours will dance
within the circle
of your mother's love...
In a list
A contest entry
- Pic Prompt Quickie by piccola.
600 points, ended March 19, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shadows by Danna Hobart.
390 points, ended October 12, 2008, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow this is amazing...i have no words
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An exquisite piece.
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Seems like every poem I have read on this site make sense...especially this site since it makes me tingle at the thought that my mother may be feeling like this.
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Oh WOW! LOVED THIS PIECE!
Pure brilliance. No wonder your write made it to the spotlight section of All poetry. Great work!
Love
Alyzeh
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Oh goodness, I loved this peice.
"but now light has left spaces
crawling between us
where eyes are drawn to the emptiness
with forced acceptance
and goodbyes are words I say
with gasping breath
forced from screaming recesses"
This stanza in pirticulure was fantastic. I loved hte connectin and the real meaing within. I really truly loved this piece.
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this is really a poem
yes,I stop in time to have a journey into this beautiful poem ... -
How could any parent read these beautiful words and not empathize with the feelings? We have such wonderful goals for our children when they are infants. We know we will have that special bond throughout time, and yet things do not always proceed as we have planned. It is so difficult to be left behind and I hope she will dance with you again. Congratulations on your trophies. They are always well deserved. Peace, Liz
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reminds me of how my mother must feel now that i'm not with her everyday.
touched my heart.
good job.
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how sweet
it's touching and yet sad. it's almost like I know the exact feeling of the mother.
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this made me cry.....
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OMG ~ I am crying! This is one of the most beautiful and touching things I have ever read. So so so deserving of gold and more... x
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A very poignant write. Thanks very much for entering my contest.
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many hints of sorrow in and out
The title is most fitting and rhythmic with the picture, yet the deepest. It was thought-provoking starting out, how something stopped, yet the way I match feelings you know a life existed and pain will continue to etch behind happiness. Even if it slows down after time from other people's speech about it. I feel the paint so to speak of true calmness unraveling in these lines, "and sadness can curl on smiling lips to utter tomorrow's dreams." My mamma can make her own notes on this because she believes she miscarried a few years back. And, it is more than a current shock. It lasts currently.
Full of raw emotion may compare who you could've held and helped walk etcetera with all the joys, now being replaced for a shocking, locked up circumference. Nothing can take away began motherhood with smiles. Even though I don't feel happy with your results you have to go through, I do however, love your expressions being able to be shared here poetically. That part of this writing construction is my favorite because you've created it so connectively.
"and your shadow curved within mine" reminds me of pregnancy mortising a blend inside, just as the few verses after it follow.
I can't help but want to quote your whole poem, for there isn't one line out of place. Stanza #3 resembles when you pack tightly shaped triangles for example, and then remove one from the bottom, they're all going to crumble in a different sort of order. And, so that special endearment only wrapping a certain way towards your child will never be able to be filled to the same exactness again without re-doing it. The past keeps being in front of you, it must seem.
This is so beautifully sad, I think "as I linger solemnly at windows watching shadows disappear" means you try to make it through each day, in ups and downs remembering once a heartbeat. "windows" might be a literal term changing into a metaphor, or already one.
Congratulations on your unforgettable silver trophy, this could stand as spotlight by me,
PIA-K -
a sad piece of poetry, made me think of a mother losing a child and sighing with that sorrow and loneliness, a good poem.
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A beautifully scripted picture of your sadness. The separation is depicted by such perfect images of emptiness and loss.
She will dance.
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I really enjoyed reading such wonderful expressions of emotion and thought. This writ has a nice flow and is focused from beginning to end. Best wishes in the comp
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really nice for such a short prompt. thank you for your entry. I even like the presentation. Text color, etc.
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