My mother told me when I was little
that people have to do things they don't want
in order to survive in this life.
Age four, I don't think twice about this,
carried on doing whatever I did at the time.
I've managed to survive with making decisions
I didn't approve of, whispering lies I knew
would get me into trouble,
but I did it anyway.
The years blur with one another, I feel
the demons of codependency come upon me.
A vicious battle with myself, sometimes
I just want to lay down my armor and quit.
But I don't.
I remember your face as you told me
to keep holding on, to keep fighting,
while you yourself slipped into your own abyss.
Choices, choices,
such little fragments of life spun with gold,
shimmering as they beg to be touched and
considered.
I chose to dig my grave sixty years too early,
but you inspired me to put down my shovel.
You, with the dark eyes like onyx beads,
were the angel that guided me to the light.
It's been too long of a time since our last
conversation, little bits of sentences that
made sense only to us, said in the blackness
of night.
I like to think of you when I'm alone,
even when you despise me for what I've done
and the things I've said to you.
And through thick and think you stayed.
I don't want to turn nineteen
if it means leaving you for good.
Author notes
option three - love.
already am 19, this was written a while ago, but still. i like it.
A contest entry
- Love... Envy... Fabulous by Pretty Britty.
750 points, ended April 4, 2008, 46 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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those last two lines give me a great sense of peace.
thank you for coming back dylan <3 -
Back and better than ever, I see.
I don't want to turn fourteen, but I have to. Like your poem said, we have to do things we don't want to. Very true, very heartfelt, and very pretty. I love it.
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This is very nice. I enjoyed reading it. I think a lot of people can understand what you are saying. I am 19 and I really don't want to turn twenty... I want to be that little girl again and be worry free and care free. But with each year I have more and more things that I have to do. More and more work and tasks. Nicely penned.
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I like this too... I can really get in touch with what you're saying.
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This was sooooo good!
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