Twist and turn in your bile.
See what comes gurgling-
Gurgling up from
those darling depths, you invite
me, and only me to.
Jump in Dive in Drink it in-
The stench of your stupidity,
the bland taste of your selfishness
and drool down your cruel corruption
all over me. And look,
look at what I can do,
look at what I will do!
I will chase and chop at the head of disease
crumbling your depression in my palms,
as your nothingness bleeds forth
from every sore, and every bruise
and every crime you inflicted.
I am prophetic power, pulling
at this oblivion, at oppression.
Wrenching out your wickedness
through the rotten roots of your hair,
I will break you, beat you, belittle,
and defile you.
You will be nothing, and our plots
will be dug next to one another-
Only mine will be empty,
and yours
emptier.
Author notes
1. Shirley / SurelyWritten 2. 18 3. 10+ years 4. free and blank verse 5. unmetered rhyme 6. life, books 7. hosted one, participated in two 8. Multiple Editors Choice awards and syndicated publications... 9. I just died my hair dark blonde.
10. This poem will get edited more, but pretty please give a me a real comment Chase, I want to know what you think. This poem, topic and style, is completely different from what I usually write, so let me know what you think!
Entrance poem into multi-round contest hosted by blackday. <3
A contest entry
- project poetry season one [multiround contest auditions] by blackday.
300 points, ended March 21, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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well.. wel.. well.. Remember me? I am so glad I came back I really missed reading your writes!
It is simply brilliant as always
A very powerful write and dark as well! I liked it!
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Well Shirl, this was dark as you know. I think you can branch out of something so angst, but I can tell you were writing this from more than just 'gah. I'm angry.'
I did like the poem & the dark images were done well. This is sooooo a personal thing, but I hate the use of exclamation points in poetry. That is so picky & stupid & 100% my opinion, but I just don't care for them.
With that being said, your use of the repetition was done well. You really had this poem speaking outloud, not just on a page.
You're in. :]
http://allpoetry.com/group/info/project%20poetry
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Into the darkness she dangles her light. Perhaps it is sardonic to take the defilier, whose desire is to deprive of light and fire of heart and beat them apart, shake them out of their arrogant tower and show them for the fearful twits they are. This is written in the style of a dark agnst written heart but the light and life of the writer still shines out.
Love, Tom B.
. Rewarded 8
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Deep madness.
Very kick your butt fine. 
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to instead of too in first stanza.. other than that, i see absolutely no problem wit da poem as it is.. its a very good write, and a great read..!! keep it up..
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ahhh, very nice.
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Profound
Very expressive..
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