No one knew
what this package held~
the one left in the corner,
waiting to be untied...
surrounded by other tagged boxes
that dazzled with glittered paper,
with loosely laced trimmings~
attracting eyes at first glance
with glitz and glamour.
While receivers picked up the flashy cartons in haste,
removing the contents,
the small gift waited, in solitude,
wrapped in delicate, simple colors
beneath white velvet ribbon.
This gift was extraordinary,
labeled,
‘No touching’
‘To be opened by the caring soul alone’
***
Growing tired of unbuttoned glitz,
anticipation was too much for the greedy,
staring with hunger at the untouched gift
while fingers groped to turn the inside out,
attempting to expose all…
burning holes that blistered the surface
with acidic drippings from lust’s mouth.
Unable to rip apart
the strength of wrapping,
anger set in, throwing the precious little gift
into the corner,
now dented by covetousness of the glutton…
embedding scars on beauty’s outer frailty.
***
The time has come…
the gentle hand has arrived,
holding the pure gift with tenderness,
knowing the one meant to lift innocence
must be true.
The small gift calls out,
‘Take care, please, wounds may still hurt.’
The hand of strength, of courage, of virtue,
raises the velvet ribbon with compassion,
allowing time to kiss scars and caress pain.
Opening the little gift…
has become the greatest one of all.
Author notes
anti-word bank.
words and parts of speech to OMIT...
- Nothing - Something- Everything- Life- Death- Night- Day- World- Free- Fall
- Sky- Hate- Love- Dark- Sad - Happy- Man- Dream- Broken- Cry- Heaven- Hell
- Blood- Believe- Hope - Peace- Thought- Word- Meaning- Understand- Body
- Feel- Touch- Heart
- NO personal or possessive pronouns (I, me, he, she, you, it, they, her, him, us, mine, yours, hers, his, its, ours, theirs)
- NO coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet)
- NO adverbs ending in –ly.
A contest entry
- MEGA Anti-wordbank (BIG Points!!!) by Metaphorist.
1500 points, ended March 31, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I really do hope you haven't gone through this, because it is really that much sadder if you have. I loved this poem, it flowed smoothly and with eloquent lines that were simple but conveyed a deeper message. A great use of extended metaphor, this was an awesome write. Greate job and good luck in contest
Hugs and Kisses,
Tiphanie -
*mouth falls wide open*
wow............... I'm speechless........ that was a very good metaphor! I hope and pray u didn't go through something like that! But if you did or if you did not that poem still remains amazing! Beautiful job! Very well written and very well thought out! Outstanding!!!
I'm speechless.....
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such great phrases in this. Really quite impressive. Just kept getting better as I read. I like the idea behind it too. Well written
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Outstanding
I kept wondering what was going to happen next. This poem says so much about society today and about people. I thought this was an intriguing poem that held my attention to the very end. The imagery is well-drawn. Best of luck in the contest.
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A brilliant poem. This is strong and full of emotion. Amazing.
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thank you
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OH, this is wonderful!!!!! GREAT poem!!!!!
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I hope this is not personal, because I don't want to believe you went through the second part. If you did,
and know that I can relate. I adore this. I love that you're always hopeful. Thanks for rising to the challenge!
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