I watched, with hurt, my Savior leave
and in my pain could not believe
He claimed that I would dare deny
Him thrice before the cock would cry.
“I am not Judas,” I exclaimed,
“whose ill-bought kiss is now the blame.”
His name I would not dare defy -
this Lord they wished to crucify.
And so I followed to the hall
where mobs had gathered just to call
out condemnations on this man
who calmed the storm with just His hand.
“Do I know you?” a voice arose.
“You are with him. You’re one of those
disciples. One of his own men!”
“You're wrong.” I turned away and then
another came and said to me,
“weren’t you with him in Galilee?”
“That was not I, I can assure,
I’ve never seen this man before.”
Again, another voice rang out,
“You were with him!” I heard his shout.
“I know Him not. You’re wrong,” I said,
“this man with thorns around His head.”
But as those words escaped my mouth,
I heard a sound off to the south
that stilled the ticking of the clock -
the single crowing of a cock.
And so the scriptures were fulfilled;
they hung Him on a cross and killed
this man, this Savior, and my friend,
whom I denied right to the end.
A contest entry
- # 63 A poem about Easter. You may write to the graphic. by Lyndon.
4500 points, ended April 9, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent, beautiful portrayal of Peter's turmoil. The rhyme and rhythm blend perfectly, and the story unfolds in brilliant fashion.
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This is an outstanding retelling of Peter's story at Easter - I think it's wonderful and fully deserving of a trophy. You might want to fix "You're" in line 16 is all. Beautiful work, congrats!
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thank you for the lovely comment and for spotting that little typo for me
Always appreciate that!
Ruth
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This is Peter's story, and well told, but it ends before Easter. Peter came to the empty tomb too; it's hard to imagine what he felt then.
I like your couplets, they read very well indeed.
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Wonderful retelling of this fulfillment of scripture. Your rhythm, rhyme and flow are spot on, flawless. This piece sang to me.
Your line breaks are excellent. The denials all lumped into one stanza is very effective to show how quickly Peter denied Christ, almost in disbelief himself. Very effective.
Thank you for such a wonderful entry. best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Good
Wonderful work with great thought given to the subject mater as it is gently unfolds for the readers delight. A window into the soul of the author that is pleasing to the heart. You paint a picture with words that bring that scene alive in the reader's mind. The imagery is good and the reader can feel the experience.
Typo “I’m (am) not Judas"
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Thank you for the nice comment and for picking up that typo for me
Ruth
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ichigosama
WOW!!! this is an excellent poem. this is exactly what Peter did when Jesus was about to be crucified. it feels so sad yet this is what the bible said would happen just like today. -
WOW!!! A little of Peter's guilty conscience! Nicely done! I heard that when they crucified him at the end of his life, Peter asked to be crucified upside down, feeling that he was not good enough to die in the same way as our saviour! God bless him, huh? They were both exctraordinary men - which isn't all that surprising, really, when you consider the fact that one of them was, like, God and stuff, right?
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Dearest Ruth Jim asked if i had read this. I told him not yet But as soon as i answered his note i came over As always you are a poet that i admire the most I always know that whatever the subject, form , or wording You will excel This just goes to show how right i am. I have no religious leanings in any way Though i do know an enormous amount about the bible so can appreciate works wrote concerning stories therein You have told this excellently with such well flowing words and rhyme Excellent
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This is amazingly good; you not only capture the scene but the emotions of Peter are tangible. In the second stanza this bothers me a little bit 'I can assure' because I want it to say you but I realise that wouldn't fit the rhyme. Anyway that's so minor compared to the feeling poured into this.
Peace Georgia
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Absolutely Perfect
Ruth this is just as perfect as they come.
I truely liked this poem and will probably bookmark.
Thanks again for sharing your wonderful talent.
Jim
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