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At the Mortuary

                              Staring into empty eyes
                              Wishing life could rewind
                                  words unspoken


Author notes

10 words, prompt "mortuary"

A contest entry

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Comments


  • penman gold member
    August 30, 2008
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    Wonderful

    A great choice of ten words. So very well expressed for the prompt. Thank you for sharing.


  • Tattboyspet
    March 20, 2008

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    a different take on the prompt, but I'm afraid that it was lacking for me
    thank you for your entry


  • Robin Candor
    March 19, 2008

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    I do not know anyone who cannot relate to this piece. I'm going to go on a rant here and my response will obviously be longer than your poem. I guess it already is. There are supposed poets who tangle words in webs that when you get caught in their snare, try to make life some remote and high mountain that only the elite can climb. No one knows what they are trying to communicate except the 'gifted' few who have some kind of mental key that unlocks the tumblers to the padlock they created. They believe that if you do not see into their telescope and view the sublime world created only by them, that you are just not worthy of their 'poetry'. I'm sorry, but I want to communicate with and connect with the person on the street who otherwise might not even read poetry. I want to touch the heart and soul of 'folks' who maybe cannot or feel they cannot write poetry. I want them to walk away from my work and be hurt, or encouraged, or angry, or feel loved because I could speak to them where they live. You, my friend do that. This is why I respect your writing and engage myself in it. This piece is no exception. We all wish we could rewind and say something, or do something different with those whom we can no longer claim the right of communication. Bravo!!! You just plain get it. Whether it is a long piece or one like this, speak to your generation, talk to your world, and be wise enough to make sure they can understand what you are saying. RC


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 19, 2008

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    Wow, nice one. Your words feel full of regret here, make the most of what we have is what I think when I read this. A beautiful piece, good luck