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For CJ

I love a man of poetry
He uses words effortlessly
And sometimes he will write for me
So perfectly, so perfectly

This area to me is new
I've seen the things that he can do
And when he writes of love for you
I want that too, I want that too

So I am learning how to write
So I can fill his heart with light
When he goes home and reads at night
He'll know delight, he'll know delight

Author notes

Jeff (cricketjeff here) known to some people as CJ (which annoys him!) knows I am teasing him.
I do love him, but not that way!

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • LovesStrength
    March 22
    Edit | Reply
    Well done here. Loved it hon. I hope all is going well with you. Missing you on here.

    Shannon


  • Amera gold member
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is great! I can see Jeff blushing now. I agree with you regarding L2. How about this:
    " Using his words effortlessly"

    "iamahealer" seems to be right in his/her comment.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • imahealer gold member
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    Mandy, this is a wonderful attempt at writing a monotetra. It seems easier than it really is! I hope you don't mind if I do a constructive critique. What I liked is that you stuck to the subject. You wanted to please Jeff. Monotetra is a fantastic form to show emotion towards any subject. Your must strictly adhere to the syllable count and meter. I didn't quite feel emotion here, but I did feel love for a friend, in wanting to please through poetry.
    First stanza, : second line, the meter is off with the word "effortlessly." Other than that, it is a wonderful lead-in.
    Second stanza: Third line only has 7 syllables and that throws the meter off. Try:" When he writes of his love for you"
    Third stanza:Third line has 7 syllables; suggestion: When he reads our poems at night" finishing with: He knows delight, he knows delight.
    I pray this was helpful and you can feel the meter. Always remember to read a poem out loud, and you will know where you need to add or subtract! YOu'll get it really soon!

    Shana

1 - 5 of 5