My mother was always
too busy and serious
and one day i told her a joke
without a punchline.
She smiled and it broke her jaw.
A contest entry
- Show me the impossible! by Keith Drew.
1800 points, ended March 20, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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thats cruel and funny. Thats one way to deal with a mother type of problem. i wouldn't personally, but it is quite brillent. Remember i=I
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now that is one helluva punchline, to break her jaw! nice upbeat fun and kinda sad.
well done.
blessings *stomps
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UPBEAT
Thanks for visiting my poem and for leaving your encouraging comments.
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This is kind of sad and funny! A mother without time or humour... when she finally cracked a smile it broke her jaw! I wanna know what that joke was!! lol
This is short, yet it actually holds a lot of meaning! Love it!
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Meaning
Thanks heaps1 Awesome comments. Glad to know you saw depth in it. & yes - it is sad & funny!
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It's very truthful; my mother is the same way-always yelling and working all the time.
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truthful
Thanks. Your mother sounds stressed out.
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Hahaha... Short but packs a punch!
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There's a fantastic image in this. Not to mention humor I can grab hold of.. lol..
Sigh, some are far far too serious, enough so you think if you shock them even a little they'll fall over. ...Ah but that's got nothing to do with this ..
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Humour
Thanks for reading this. Does it read like a finished poem, or the start of one? I feel like I could write some more, especially by putting my father into the scene.
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I think it could stand as is, as a witty bit, or be extended as far as you and your imagination were willing to take it.
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ok
Thanks for your diplomatic answer.
I'll find out soon enough what may or may not happen with this poem.
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Well it wasn't exactly diplomatic, but I can see it coming across that way.
Seriously it could stand as either. There's enough in it as it is to make it something 'complete'.
You have a main image, an action and resolution.
Taking it further may or MAY not add to it as it stands. It's one of those gray areas that make things difficult to judge.
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"You have a main image, an action and resolution."
What a wonderful way to describe the essence of a poem. I love it! Is that how you know a poem is finished?
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Must have been one good joke. No punchline??? Like to hear that one
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angel
Thanks angel - I appreciate the eay you read my atrtempts at poetry.
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MM sounds like a sad childhood to me.
Good entry, nice try.
But i would have liked a punchline and something i would not be expecting at all.
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punchline
Thanks for your response - I like your irony!
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