You said, "I love you"
I said, "God, don't be lieing to me"
But of course you lied
I said, "Call me."
You said, "You know I will baby."
And you did
You said, "I'm tired I'm going to bed,"
I said, "okay I love you."
You didn't reply
She called me at midnight
To tell me you were with her
Now you can't call me
You don't answer your phone
I drove over to your house
Her car was there
Her yellow car was there
Parked right behind you
Her new car just went down in value
Sorry but I had to do it
Your car went down to
My bat looks just fine
And my keys were not hurt
Maybe I'm being crazy
But I swear that rock
I did not throw
It was the guy next door
He said you were to loud
I swear it was not me
You torn my heart out of my chest
You threw it on the ground
You said you would be with me for ever
You said you love me
Well I guess you were lieing
Well I guess you were a lier
Well I guess you are gone
Well why don't you come and get your ring
I'm sorry I ran over you foot
You should really get out of my way
I'm sorry I have a lead foot
You should learn to move faster
I'm sorry you got smoke in your face
You should just die
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Heart by SchizoChic.
600 points, ended March 20, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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not bad. kind has an Alanis Morissette sorta feel to it. lol.
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Okay not a bad concept. I like it a lot you express your ideas and feelings fairly well. I'm impressed! I think you should get used to using the spell check when you add a poem that way you wont make as many spelling errors. It's a very handy tool lol If I didnt use it people would never understand me! You've spelled a couple of words wrong so run your work through the spell check. Other than that it's fairly good! Well done!
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You GO! I enjoyed reading this. It's the angry side of love that isn't whiny or pining but it's a huge fuck you and rightfully so.
In the 4th stanza "torn" should be "tore" and in the last, "you foot" should be "your foot". Other than this, it's a great poem.
The last stanza is my favorite! Well done!
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I love the attitude. Rock on! Best of luck.
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This is a really nice write. Sad but funny at the same time
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