With each passing day,
Another dream fades.
Sharing space with shadows,
Till nothing in life makes sense.
Even more aware of my loneliness,
Driving myself beyond insanity.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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A technically sound poem. Your title adds a lot of weight and credence to the sentiments of the piece. I think ( and I'm probably wrong) that "Till" should be written as " 'til ", but I'm not sure. Just something my very anal self picked at is all. Have you tried line 5 without "Even more". It might feel more powerful that way. It's a captivating piece, but that last line was disappointing to me. It's a little too cliche for someone with your obvious talent. Nice work!
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Hi
Thanks for your comments. Technically, this poem is still in it's first draft. The reason for the capital "T", is to keep the ryrhm of the acrostic style. Thanks anyway, all comments are helpful for developement.
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