here in this lonely little hospital room, my life is falling
my family is calling
and i am crawling away from it
my grandfather dead
a truck crushed his head
and his friend was behind the wheel, didn't see him behind her
i scream
this cant be real
he's the strong one, the faithful one
he holds us together
but now he's gone, and we all fall apart
my cousin is sobbing wildly
face red
eyes wide
she cant accept it, he's dead?
his body is broken, and his soul is set free.... but what about me?
i can feel my grief being locked away
i move through the crowd of my family today
i wipe away tears,
but i don't shed my own
i comfort the others
but tonight, I'm alone.
here tonight, my life is falling
my friends I'm calling
but they cant come.
no one can save me, because i cant save myself
i have to pull through this
i wont live in hell
i wont drown in sadness
i wont forget his life
i won't let my family give in to this madness
i wont blame this woman
who killed her best friend
it was just an accident.
there will be no blame sent.
not from me, not today
no, cause right now, i'm away
I'm in my shower
hot water steaming
it muffles my screaming
and i cry out to God
WHY? Why did this happen?
he held us together, now we all fall apart
and this loss now is building
it's breaking my heart
i cant do this alone, won't someone help me out?
can't anybody see, I'm not strong as i seem
though i'm comforting others, i need a hug too
but until i can ask for one,
i'll be weaker than you.
Author notes
In memory of my grandfather, Kurt Hannes Sjoblom.... Jag Alskar Dig, Pa.....
Hope you enjoyed my insanity :)
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
This is such a sweet tribute with so many true emotions. My only suggestion is to try writing it without rhyme-the rhyme makes it seem much less serious than it actually is. Also, the only line that really bothers me is "a truck crushed his head." That just hurts the seriousness of the poem a lot. But overall, very sweet and very real.
-
i enjoyed this. it was well written. i like the entire point and all.
-
A very moving and erudite piece in which you perfectly encapsulate your memories and feelings. One very minor nitpick - is the use of the lower case i intentional to show the lack of substance in the self?
Great write, thanks for sharing.
-
Tear
Aww! This poem really makes the reader feel your pain! And it is so perfectly balanced on the edge of sentimentality.
The rhyming is so unique and the words flow through it so naturally. You are so talented at keeping the reader engaged in the poem and there is no distractions to pull the reader back out.
On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate this poem a 10 for being so well built and appealing. Great job!
-
I enjoyed this as I would enjoy a sad movie. I'm glad you share this because it conveys a powerful message of forgiveness and the importance of everyone left behind including yourself. Even though it happened about 3 years ago, I am saying a prayer now for you, your family, and the friend.
-
-
Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and the prayer!!
-K
-
-
I can definately relate to this piece... You did an amazing job writing it! I love how you expressed your emotions. Keep up your great work!!!
TwiztidMaggot -
-
Thanks for reading and commenting =]
-K
PS- love the name!
-
-
soo sad!!! its so full of emotion and feeling! great write! the flow is a little choppy but it fits the poem well, it feels like your just letting all of the grief out and not caring how it comes...
-
-
Thank you. And you're completely right, I wrote this the day after it happened and didn't care much how it came out; I just needed to get it out.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
-K
-
-
This was SO sad! I am so sorry for your loss. I love how you don't place blame, and also take initiative for your own grief, but sometimes being weak and vulnerable is okay, so long as you trust those with whom you're succumbing to. A good cry is soul cleansing for me, but I am also one that doesn't cry easily so when I do it's over something that truuuuuuuly is bothering me.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and your family.
-
-
Thanks =] It's been nearly three years now, but this piece still makes me cry.
Thank you for reading and commenting, and for your prayers!
-K
-
-
this made me cry. it is sad. this didn't really happen right??? great write either way
-
-
It did. Life has things like this in it sometimes, and for me poetry is how I cope with it. If I hadn't written this poem I'd be in a lot more emotional pain than I was.
Thank you for reading and commenting hon
-K
-
-
alone in grief
you accurately and poetically recounted exactly how it feels to be grief-wracked. I really relate to the last five lines:
"i cant do this alone, won't someone help me out?
can't anybody see, I'm not strong as i seem
though i'm comforting others, i need a hug too
but until i can ask for one,
i'll be weaker than you."
that's me right now! thanks for the words....
-
-
Here's hoping your heart heals soon, dear. Thank you for reading and commenting.
-K
-
-
I really, truly felt the pain from this.
I loved this, keep it up. -
-
Thank you for reading and commenting. <3
-K
-
-
Kelly.....
you have command of every facet of emotion, but in this, you let it all flow away... stunning...
-
-
Thank you, Niko.
-
-
You obviously had a lot of pain, which p=makes sense to get out of you and you did that very well. remember i=I
-
I rate this a 6 1/2
honestly I dont care much for the flow of this poem... but i too know what its like to lose your grandfather, and my uncle died in very simuler circumstances to the grandfather above includeing the fact that his friend was driveing. this made me feel and if not for that then i would probebly have givin it a lower score. -
Sometimes there are so many questions, and not enough answers are there? I can relate with that...I began to learn not to ask God "why?" but "what is it you are teaching me through this?" God hates death, but He can help you to live again. Thanks for this thoughtful entry.
-
-
?
God doesnt hate death at all. I cant understand what your trying to say here? If u would like to have a chat about this go ahead and message me. -
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I am slowly learning to look at this loss as a part of life, and a beautiful, if painful, part.
-
-
Ouch
This is a really painful write, and very sad to read. I relate to it completly. Pa (grandpa) was not killed by a accident, but by a stroke, but still it was sudden and unexpected. And we so often see our loved one hurting, and shove our own pain to the side. Beautiful write.
Good luck and God Bless -
-
Thank you You know, I called my grandpa Pa as well. He was an amazing man. I can't wait to see him in heaven again.... I feel so bad, because the last day I saw him alive (Christmas Eve, only 2 days before the accident) I forgot to say goodbye to him
-
-
Awesome
The power of understanding life in this write is set in stone. To lose someone so close is difficult but the pain will subside with time, it will never leave you for you will always remember the feelings of love for that family member. Strong and powerful peice
-
-
Thank you so much for understanding. A lot of people never saw past the lack of punctuation ad capitals which is very out of character for me.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
