When the lights spark out
I pull the blanket to my mouth
hoping that condensate's vapors
from breathing might cause me to drown.
The scratches from the next cell
have become like cricket drones.
Forcing on me the slumber
and relaxing my prison bones.
I've written letters to the family
claiming innocence and mistrial.
The responses were overwhelming,
filled with hate and straight denial.
So I began rituals to keep occupied,
biting nails to form fork shapes.
If accosted on the yard lawn,
I could cut assailants face.
County blues are more than jumpsuits
it's a scripture torn from condemned.
First I refused the bitter nourishment
now I ingest scraps with pretend.
Coldest summer experienced ever.
Shakes dissipated after hustling pills.
Racing brown spiders caught from freeway
Guardrail duty while traffic spilled.
Get respect or lose respect only.
Not from guards, they watch you piss.
But if threatened by the members
you fight. no exceptions, hit or miss.
Yet I still ponder, in mental collapse
the Sicilian air and Mediterranean spray.
If these thoughts never escape me
then I'll stay alive another day.
A contest entry
- Prison bars by malmadre.
800 points, ended March 24, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
keep it real
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Amazing. You portray the life of a prison inmate so well, it's as though you are one right now! Awesome! The imaginary is so well, it kept me captivated for the whole thing, letting my mind unwind into a story of sharp nails, unforgiving family, and respect on given by other inmates upon proving dominance. Great job!
This was awesome. I hope to read a lot more of your work in the future.
-Keni
-
That little corner of our mind that we can escape to is what keeps life worth living. Your words paint the bleakest picture of what it's like to be cut off from family that has disowned you and hoping that your life will end during the night. This poem sounds like serving a life term...
-
wow this is a very powerful poem. So many emotions and it all flows together very well i love it great write.
-
oh this is really really good too! your work reminds me a little of Bryant36's, have you seen his stuff?
anyway, this is a really interesting write, really sets the mood well. i loved the ending, i thought it had the most impact of any stanza. some parts sounded a little forced to accomodate the rhyme, but its by no means a real problem. its just the one little thing i could see wrong! great work, you have talent!
-
great poem bro
took me back to my earlier days......almost forgot what it was like....best of luck my friend...be head strong
-
nice, best poem yet. Great job.
-
Interesting way of transposing one's self into a character role, inside the mind of a Prisoner, a keen write indeed, These thoughts however are only used by the intelligent one's that are locked up, mY experience is that most like it there, Subconsciously of course, it gives structure to an otherwise disarrayed life.
-
You did a wonderful job of putting us in this sutuation; each descriped put more initiative toward the overall feeling of the piece and just the feeling itself was great... I liked the "rough" feel to all the stanza, except that last one, witch made it feel stronger too. Great job in rhyming too... I am yet to do that with success; really great flow. Good luck with the contest, I am sure you will do fine with this great chunk of poetry.
-
I like this , it has a goood flow, and the meaning behind it , and the message you were going for, was clear, I like the usage of your words , good job
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
